


My Moon After the Tide

by LemonTwister



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Caretaking, Dirty Talk, Dom/sub, Explicit Sexual Content, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Paralysis, Smut, Teacher-Student Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-24
Updated: 2018-04-21
Packaged: 2019-03-23 13:39:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 38,871
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13788882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LemonTwister/pseuds/LemonTwister
Summary: After being inflicted with a paralytic toxin, Anakin is unable to care for himself until he recovers. Obi-Wan promises to provide his Padawan with everything he needs.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This idea wouldn't leave me alone, so here we are. The smut is coming in the next chapter, and the tags will be updated accordingly (edit: the smut actually begins in chapter 4 bc I can't control myself). Title is from Craft Spells' "Komorebi." Please enjoy!

Anakin was 20 minutes late to their scheduled meetup. This was not odd behavior for his increasingly irresponsible Padawan, but what _was_ odd was the silence Obi-Wan felt through their Force bond. Anakin was either completely shielding his thoughts and emotions (an ability the boy struggled with during simple training), or something unusual was causing a block between Obi-Wan and his student. And hopefully only unusual and not sinister, though Obi-Wan had cause to fear for the worst. 

One would not describe this planet they were currently stationed on as ‘friendly’ or even ‘habitable.’ Multiple masters and their Padawan learners had suffered unfortunate and/or serious injuries after a mission here on Ruuria, and rarely did anyone ever agree to return to the planet. Despite knowing the rumors, Obi-Wan could not deny the assignment given by Master Yoda, who stated in his infinite wisdom,

“A challenge this will not be, for the effective teamwork of Kenobi and Skywalker.”

And for the most part, Master Yoda had been correct. He and Anakin had successfully located and harvested numerous stalks of Bota, which were abundant on this hazardous planet. The medicinal plant was useful for the Jedi Order, but it only grew on two planets these days. Obi-Wan estimated that they’d harvested enough to last the Order half a year, perhaps. 

And now it was time to meet up after one last scour of the fields surrounding their hideout, but his partner had failed to show up. A sinking anchor sat atop Obi-Wan’s sternum; he had a bad feeling about this. 

What trouble had his Padawan gotten into now? The boy— No, he was a young man now, newly nineteen yet he possessed the maturity of an eleven-year old. Obi-Wan had thought his worst years were over, that his rebelliousness and general lack of respect for his Master or his own safety had fallen away as Anakin grew into a skilled fighter. The young man matched Obi-Wan in strength and skill already. The only combat advantages Obi-Wan kept were his sharpened wit and battle experience. With how often Anakin went looking for trouble, however, Obi-Wan felt that soon his student would surpass him. It was a frightening thought; Anakin still had so much to learn, but he would ignore his Master’s instruction completely if he thought himself superior in prowess.

Obi-Wan cleared his mind and reached out into the Force. He needed to find Anakin before the boy got himself eaten.

Another half hour passed before anxious panic crept up his spine, his frown deepening as he surveyed another empty cave. He couldn’t find Anakin out in his half of the fields. He had to be concealed somewhere, such as in a cave or behind one of the surrounding trees. But Obi-Wan couldn’t feel his presence at all, and the Force was providing no assistance. There were so many places his student could be, even more so if he’d left the general area. And if he wasn’t here, then he must’ve been stolen away by some predator, carried away or maybe dragged across the land… 

No. Anakin was fine. His Padawan had proven time and time again that he lived to overcome the odds. To Anakin, it was as easy as breathing. Despite this small comfort, Obi-Wan could not stop himself from feeling some regret concerning their last conversation. Before they’d split up, Anakin had said something insubordinate, inconsequential but it hit a nerve inside of Obi-Wan, who’d let his temper flare unnecessarily. Of course, this only sparked the easy anger inside of his student, and they traded acerbic jabs until Anakin grew bored of their tired argument (it always started differently but concluded the same) and walked away to get to work. 

He found Anakin an hour later, as the suns were setting and the nocturnal creatures were eyeing Obi-Wan as he searched the fields once again. The other stalks that grew here were as tall as Obi-Wan, thick and mostly unyielding. He sprinted down the multiple rows, his eyes scanning, his ears listening. He nearly tripped over himself when he started down another row and spotted the body prone in the dirt. He recognized it instantly.

“Anakin!” He called without thinking, momentarily heedless of the curious animals surrounding the dense field. He ran to his student, reaching out to him in the Force. But even right before his eyes, he was invisible. Hidden or somehow nonexistent. Obi-Wan kneeled as he approached, reaching out with his hands to roll Anakin over onto his back. The boy was curled into a fetal position, motionless. When Obi-Wan tugged at his shoulder, Anakin twitched violently and then howled in pain.

Obi-Wan flinched back, watching his Padawan’s face. Anakin’s eyes had flown open, but they were unfocused. They darted around, seemingly not seeing his mentor right before him.

“Anakin, can you hear me?” Obi-Wan said, a great relief washing over him at the sight of his student awake and alive. It muddled, however, when his student did not respond. His eyes continued dancing randomly, never focusing. Cautiously, Obi-Wan moved his hand to check Anakin’s pulse, pressing his fingertips very gently against Anakin’s neck.

“Ahh!” Anakin screamed, jerking, his face twisting in pain. Obi-Wan withdrew, trying to remember which poisons or toxins caused the victim to behave in such a manner. A lack of awareness, great pain at the touch of another, and a barrier separating him from the Force.

Obi-Wan’s head snapped up. He did not have the time to figure this out now; one particularly interested predator (something big, but undoubtedly fast) was approaching them from the side. He needed to get them out of here and back onto their ship, now. Releasing a prayer into the Force, Obi-Wan focused and hovered his hand near Anakin’s temple, whispering, 

“Sleep.”

Anakin’s eyelids lowered, his unsteady eyes finally stilling. Obi-Wan gently scooped him up into his arms, holding him close. Then, Obi-Wan ran.

@@@

The Temple’s chief healer was able to diagnose Anakin with a simple blood test. Obi-Wan smoothed a blanket over Anakin’s prone form in his bed, preparing to leave and meet with the healer to discuss the test results. Anakin had awoken before they returned to Coruscant, but he did not cry or scream when Obi-Wan carried him to their shared quarters. He did not lift his head when it fell back, all of his muscles completely relaxed. He was like a ragdoll in Obi-Wan’s arms, too complacent as his mentor shifted him to give his head support as he walked. Anakin’s eyes were unseeing, and he said nothing. 

“I’ll return soon, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said, despite feeling that his student could not hear him. Anakin laid motionless on the bed, his chest rising and falling softly.

The chief healer was a kind but professional woman who spoke with a thick Rylothian accent. She met with Obi-Wan privately in her office, and gently said,

“He was ‘bitten’ or rather stung by a Pelko bug. Perhaps several, even, considering the severity of his symptoms and toxin levels in his blood.” 

Obi-Wan was somewhat familiar with the bug; the Order would take the barbs from the creatures and use them for Padawan training. He was uncertain about the effects arising from direct attacks from the bug, however. The healer, Yulilan, continued, 

“The toxin will remain in his system for approximately 5 to 15 days. It is not directly fatal, but he will be unable to care for himself as long as the toxin persists. Unfortunately, the treatment we use for this venom may not be suitable for Anakin, as the toxin within the Pelko bugs residing on Ruuria is of a different strain. Therefore, without knowing how Anakin will react to the treatment, I think it is best to just wait it out.”

Obi-Wan felt much of the tension in his body flow out of his muscles and into the Force, the knowledge that the toxin was not fatal calming his worst fears. 

“What exactly will he experience until he is better?” He asked.

“The toxin is a paralytic that removes Anakin’s ability to move effectively. For the first few days, voluntary movement of any kind will give him excruciating pain, though it disappears as soon as he relaxes his muscles. Usually, he is able to move his neck and facial muscles without pain, and he will likely begin communicating again once he regains coherence. He will experience hallucinations that shield him from reality for the first few days.”

“Hallucinations?” Obi-Wan repeated, troubled as he realized that Anakin’s eyes must be constantly following whatever forms he’s seeing inside his mind.

“Yes, though we aren’t sure what he’s seeing as patients typically cannot remember more than vague shapes or feelings once they come out of their trance. It will be easier to care for him once he is able to communicate again. He should not eat solid food until most of the toxin has left his body; digestion taxes his system and also results in pain. I will give you plenty of Muja juice for nutrition, and beginning tomorrow, he will need to drink about 7 glasses of water every day.”

Obi-Wan nodded, absorbing the information. As long as Anakin could recover completely, he did not mind caring for him for a few weeks. Yulilan also said that Anakin would need to receive physical therapy every day to prevent muscle deterioration and bed sores.

“He will be unable to move for up to 15 days?” Obi-Wan inquired.

“In a few days, moving his body will no longer be painful, but he will have little control over his movements. Voluntary movement will cause tremors that rack through his body until he again relaxes his muscles.” Yulilan gave him a sympathetic smile. “Despite this being a rare case, Masters in the past have allowed one or two healers to care for their Padawans until recovery. It is quite taxing to care for someone in this condition. And… I know it must be painful to see your student like this, Obi-Wan.”

Of course he hated seeing Anakin as he was. But to abandon his Padawan in his moment of weakness, to behave so callously towards Anakin— Obi-Wan would not do that. Despite their seemingly innumerable differences, he knew Anakin was a good person and an excellent Jedi. 

And more than that, Obi-Wan loved the boy. 

“Thank you, Yulilan. I believe I will oversee Anakin’s care until he recovers.”

@@@

Predictably, Anakin had not moved an inch when Obi-Wan returned. Obi-Wan set a glass of water on the bedside table and pulled up a chair next to Anakin’s bed. He sat down and said,

“Anakin, I am going to sit you up and give you a glass of water. Please drink all of it.” Anakin did not look towards Obi-Wan, showing no signs at all of hearing his master. Obi-Wan swallowed the sadness in his throat and reached for Anakin, gently pulling the blankets away and moving an arm underneath Anakin’s back. Gingerly, he pushed Anakin into a sitting position, relieved when his student did not struggle. He maneuvered Anakin so that his back could rest against the wall, and kept a hand on his jaw so that his head would not fall forward.

Obi-Wan reached for the glass and brought it to Anakin’s closed lips. Quickly deciding that this position wouldn’t quite work, Obi-Wan set the glass back down and then moved to join Anakin on the bed. He pressed his knees into the bed on either side of Anakin’s hips, keeping his hand on Anakin’s jaw. Again, he brought the glass to Anakin’s lips and pulled on his jaw until his lips parted.

“Please drink,” Obi-Wan said softly, tilting Anakin’s head back just a little before tilting the glass as well, pulling it back quickly before more than a teaspoon flowed past Anakin’s lips. Immediately, Anakin coughed and sputtered, and then yelped in pain when he reflexively moved his arms to push the glass away. “Shh, shh,” Obi-Wan whispered, setting the glass down so he could wipe away the spit and water from Anakin’s chin and neck. Soon, Anakin relaxed again, breathing harshly in the aftermath. 

Obi-Wan tried again. Again, Anakin coughed, refusing to swallow. He did not move below his neck this time, but he whimpered as if in pain as he shakily breathed in air. Obi-Wan wished desperately that he could feel Anakin in the Force, that he could know his emotions as Anakin’s eyes darted around. They’d widened now, the whites of his eyes bright against his irises. He was scared. Frowning, Obi-Wan set the glass down and drew Anakin into his arms.

“It’s alright, Anakin,” Obi-Wan murmured softly, tucking Anakin’s head underneath his chin as he rubbed soothing circles over his back. “You are safe with me.” He waited until Anakin’s breathing had returned to normal, soft puffs of breath against Obi-Wan’s neck as he tried to comfort his student. Gently, he pulled away and moved Anakin back so that they could try again. Anakin’s eyes weren’t as frantic now, no longer dashing back and forth. They were still unfocused, but perhaps the hallucinations had quieted a bit.

Obi-Wan brought the water to Anakin’s mouth, and this time when he tilted the glass, he also rubbed his thumb softly over Anakin’s Adam’s apple, encouraging him to swallow. Finally, thankfully, Anakin swallowed the water without coughing.

“Very good, Anakin. Thank you,” Obi-Wan said, repeating the process, giving his student a few seconds of breath between each drink. Anakin did not struggle any more, accepting the water easily. Relief spread throughout Obi-Wan’s chest when Anakin finished the entire glass, and he set the empty glass to the side before hugging Anakin to his body once more. “I am so proud of you.” He held him for a long moment, praying to the Force that his student would recover quickly. 

He moved off the bed and laid Anakin back down, pulling the blanket over his body and up to his chin. Coruscant’s sun was setting, and soon Obi-Wan would return to his own room and hope for sleep. He laid his fingers over Anakin’s eyelids, smoothing them down across his eyes. When he pulled his hand away, Anakin’s eyelids remained closed, his pupils roving back and forth beneath the thin skin. Obi-Wan leaned down and placed a soft kiss on Anakin’s forehead, wishing him a restful sleep.

@@@

Obi-Wan met with the Council early the next morning to give his mission report. Yulilan had already notified the Council of Anakin’s condition, and today Obi-Wan would receive instruction concerning his duties for the next few days.

“You wish to stay here on Coruscant until Anakin recovers, is that correct?” Mace Windu said, and Obi-Wan nodded. “Then the Council has decided to grant you a short stay here on Coruscant until Chief Healer Yulilan decides that your student has recovered enough to no longer need a caretaker. However, at her suggestion, we have also decided to enlist Temple Healer Panna as Anakin’s secondary caretaker.”

“Aid Anakin for one hour in the morning and one hour in the evening, she will,” Master Yoda continued. “Tasked with feeding, bathing, dressing, cleaning his teeth and helping with urinary functions, Panna is. To provide Anakin with his other needs, that is your duty, Obi-Wan.”

“I understand, Master Windu, Master Yoda,” Obi-Wan replied. He would not mind the assistance from Panna, who he knew to be a warm person and competent healer. “Thank you.”

“The Council dismisses you, Obi-Wan,” Mace said, adjourning the meeting.

Obi-Wan was aware of Panna’s presence as he returned to his and Anakin’s shared quarters, realizing that her assignment must have been given today. She was readying to leave when he walked into the common area, and she greeted him kindly.

“Hello, Master Obi-Wan. I assume that the Council has informed you of my new assignment?”

“Yes, Master Panna. I greatly appreciate your assistance,” Obi-Wan replied graciously.

“This evening, I will arrive a few minutes before my scheduled time so that I can show you how to properly provide the physical therapy he’ll need to receive every night before bed. Also, and I apologize for this, I was unable to feed him his Muja juice this morning. Anakin would only cough it up, though I tried many times to get him to drink.”

“He was able to drink a full glass of water yesterday,” Obi-Wan said, slightly troubled at these news. Panna smiled softly at him.

“Then I hope you will have better luck with giving him the juice. Please feel free to alert me if you need any assistance.”

Panna left, and Obi-Wan entered Anakin’s room to find the bottle of juice sitting on his bedside table. Unsurprisingly, he was laying down in bed with the blankets to the side, wearing a simple, loose tunic and loose pants for comfort. He did not look at Obi-Wan as he walked up to the bed and sat down in the chair beside him. 

“I hope you slept well last night, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said, running a gentle hand across his student’s arm. “I need you to try and drink this juice now, so that your body can heal.” He assumed his position from last night, leaning over Anakin on the bed as he repositioned Anakin with his back against the wall. Obi-Wan reached for the juice and brought it to Anakin’s mouth, pulling on his jaw to part his lips. Curiously, Anakin resisted and kept his teeth firmly shut. 

Obi-Wan set the juice aside and pulled Anakin to his body, letting him hear his heartbeat as he petted Anakin’s hair. “It’s me, Anakin. I’m not going to hurt you.” He held Anakin for a short moment, allowing him to know his presence. Then, he leaned Anakin back and reached for the juice again.

Gratefully, Anakin accepted the juice this time, opening his mouth and swallowing the thick liquid. He drank all of it, and then Obi-Wan went to the kitchen to fill up a glass of water and then brought it to Anakin. They repeated the process, Anakin offering no resistance as Obi-Wan gave him the water. Obi-Wan was pleased with his student’s progress, happy that his body was receiving the proper nutrition despite being unable to eat solid food.

Once Anakin had finished his glass, Obi-Wan laid him back down and pulled the blankets over his body. Sitting back in his chair, Obi-Wan attempted to mediate for a few minutes before he realized that his tension would need to be dealt with in another way.

“I am going out to the courtyard to exercise for a bit, Anakin. I will return shortly.”

Obi-Wan changed into his training outfit and left to work his muscles. The weather was nice outside, cool and perfect for a workout. Finding an isolated area, Obi-Wan stretched thoroughly before beginning. First, 100 sit-ups, then 100 push-ups, and finally, 100 lunges. Panting heavily and wiping at the sweat on his brow, Obi-Wan’s muscles screamed from the exertion. Still, his mind would often wander to Anakin, and his anxiety only grew as he thought about his student all alone in his room. He knew he was safe here at the Temple, and he likely didn’t even notice his own solitude, and yet…

Obi-Wan stretched quickly after his workout and walked briskly back to his quarters. Before stepping to his refresher, he checked on his student and found that he hadn’t moved, his eyes tracing random patterns on the ceiling. Exhaling his worries, Obi-Wan stripped and showered.

The hot water washed over his tired muscles, and it felt nice but it could not quell the sorrow rising in his chest. Beneath the spray of the water, Obi-Wan could not stop the few tears that escaped his eyes. His Anakin, so energetic and spirited, now reduced to a motionless, mute patient. He shook his head and rid himself of those thoughts quickly, letting the water wash the tears from his face. 

Anakin would recover, and very soon he would be speaking again. Undoubtedly, his spirit would return in a fiery outburst as he learned of his condition. Obi-Wan could picture him now, angrily demanding his master to give him the treatment despite not knowing what could happen. It brought a small smile to his lips as he shut off the water and toweled dry.

He changed into his sleep clothes, feeling that he would not be leaving their quarters for the rest of the day. He prepared a salad and glass of water for himself, and poured another glass for Anakin. He returned to Anakin’s room and gave him his glass of water first before sitting down in the chair and eating his meal. 

Afterwards, Obi-Wan fetched his datapad and stayed with Anakin, reading aloud the daily news and then excerpts from the crime novel that Obi-Wan was currently engrossed in. He paused every hour to give Anakin another glass of water. The time passed relatively quickly, and soon there was a knock from Panna at their door.

“Please come in,” Obi-Wan greeted her, and she smiled as they walked to Anakin’s room. He stood to her side as she demonstrated and explained how to perform the physical therapy. She started with Anakin’s legs, with one hand underneath his knee and another gripping his foot. She bent his leg up and then down slowly, repeating the motion 10 times with each leg.

“This will prevent bed sores and allow circulation through his legs,” she explained as she worked, and Obi-Wan nodded, feeling a bit uneased as he watched her handle Anakin’s body. Anakin was unresponsive. Moving on, Panna shifted one hand to his ankle as she rolled his foot in circular motions. “You can also pull gently on his foot to stretch out his leg; this will feel good for his bones and joints.”

After finishing with his legs and feet, she moved onto his arms. She gripped him by the elbow and the wrist, bending his arm before pulling it straight up. Again, she repeated the motion 10 times with each arm. Then, she took his hand in both of hers and massaged his palms and knuckles before stretching his fingers gently.

“After these exercises, it’s a good idea to roll him onto his stomach and massage his neck, shoulders, and back for just a few moments to prevent bed sores,” Panna explained, making sure Anakin’s head was laying on the side so that he could breathe before she demonstrated. She massaged using circular motions, professional and skilled. Obi-Wan watched and hoped he’d be able to do a proficient job. Panna turned Anakin onto his back and said, “Did he drink any Muja juice today?”

“Yes, he drank a full bottle right after you left,” Obi-Wan replied, watching as she shortly left the room to fetch more of the juice from the fridge.

“How did you get him to drink it?” She asked as she unscrewed the cap, setting the juice on the table as she maneuvered Anakin upright against the wall. Obi-Wan felt his face flush though he had no reason to feel embarrassed or ashamed in comforting his student before trying to make him drink. 

“I would… tell him that I would not hurt him, and allow him to feel comfortable in my presence before trying to get him to drink,” he explained, unwilling to mention that he joined Anakin in his bed if the detail was unnecessary. As Panna placed her hand on Anakin’s jaw and brought the juice to his lips, Obi-Wan softly petted Anakin’s hair and said, “Anakin, Master Panna here is going to give you your juice. She is a friend and just wants to help.”

Holding his breath, Obi-Wan watched as Panna carefully opened Anakin’s lips and brought the juice to his mouth. Anakin kept his teeth clenched tightly shut, not reacting as Panna tilted the bottle and the juice spilled down his chin. Panna quickly pulled away and stood to retrieve a washcloth from the refresher, returning to wipe Anakin’s face and the bit of juice that had stained his tunic. Obi-Wan worried his lip with his teeth, wondering if he should advise Panna to embrace Anakin before trying again. Instead, he said,

“It’s alright, Panna. I will feed Anakin until he’s coherent again. It’s no trouble at all.” Panna smiled gratefully at him and nodded. Obi-Wan then left the room with the juice in hand to keep it cold in the fridge as she prepared Anakin for his shower. Obi-Wan sat on the couch and meditated for the next hour, finding peace within the Force. He opened his eyes when he felt Panna’s presence enter the common area, and he wished her a good night before she left.

She had dressed Anakin in fresh clothes, he noted as he returned with the juice. Without preamble, Obi-Wan joined Anakin in the bed and hugged him to his body. His skin smelled clean from the water and soap, and Obi-Wan inhaled deeply, his lips brushing lightly against Anakin’s neck. He realized that this ritual was just as comforting to him as it was to Anakin; he listened to Anakin breathe and told himself that his student was alive and would be well, soon. He did not need words as he pulled back and brought the juice to Anakin’s lips; his Padawan drank it easily.

Obi-Wan left the room to pour more water before returning. He set the glass aside and repositioned Anakin once again before reclaiming his position atop his student. The moons were shining brightly now, their soft light streaming in through the curtains and illuminating Anakin’s face. Before Obi-Wan reached for the water, he paused as he looked at Anakin’s eyes. They weren’t moving erratically anymore. They weren’t moving at all.

Anakin’s eyes were focused on Obi-Wan.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was only supposed to be a 2 chapter story, but I always seem to want to add more. Please enjoy!

“Anakin?” Obi-Wan said softly, gently cupping his student’s head as he leaned forward and searched his eyes. Anakin blinked at him, seemingly aware of Obi-Wan perched on top of him, and his lips parted as if to speak.

“Ma—” Anakin croaked, his voice incredibly hoarse, and he coughed and then cried out as he tried to move. Obi-Wan quickly used the Force to still his body, and kept his hands on Anakin, his heart likely beating just as erratically as his Padawan’s.

“Shh, Anakin, you’re okay. Let me give you water, first,” he said gently, waiting until Anakin had calmed down before reaching for the water. He brought the glass to his lips and Anakin drank easily, his eyes never once leaving Obi-Wan’s. Obi-Wan tried to quell the giddy relief that arose from Anakin’s responsiveness, knowing that his student may have not yet regained full awareness.

When Anakin finished the glass, Obi-Wan set it to the side and used his thumb to wipe away the bit of water that had spilled past his lips. He then shifted on his knees, just to see if Anakin’s eyes would follow him, and they did, Anakin’s blue irises trained on his face. Anakin parted his lips again and said,

“Master.” His voice was still strained but he could speak without coughing now, the water helping to ease the discomfort. Obi-Wan leaned closer and smiled softly, one hand on Anakin’s jaw, the other behind his head.

“Yes, Anakin, I’m right here.” He lightly brushed his thumb across Anakin’s cheek in what he hoped was a comforting gesture. Anakin leaned into his touch, and his eyebrows furrowed as if in pain. Obi-Wan worried that he was trying to move again, but then Anakin said,

“You’re not.” His voice cracked, and Obi-Wan wasn’t sure if it was from emotion or from his unused vocal cords. Anakin’s eyes misted with tears. “You’ll disappear again.”

Alarmed, Obi-Wan shook his own head gently and replied,

“I won’t disappear, Anakin. I’m here with you.” Anakin blinked and a single tear fell down his cheek. His lips quivered. Obi-Wan rose his hand and wiped away the tear, dabbing Anakin’s eyes lightly with his sleeve. When he pulled back, he looked at Anakin’s eyes and found that they were once again unfocused. “Stay with me, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said, unable to hide the desperation in his voice, afraid of Anakin regressing back into his hallucinations. 

Obi-Wan embraced his Padawan and rubbed his hand over his back, repeating the words ‘I’m here’ and ‘you’re safe, Anakin’ until they lost all meaning to his tired mind. Anakin said nothing, and Obi-Wan already knew what his eyes would look like when he pulled away. They were roaming across the room, seeing nothing. 

Swallowing the thick pain in his throat, Obi-Wan gently laid Anakin down against the bed and did not move for a long time. He turned Anakin’s words over and over in his mind, trying to decipher what his Padawan had meant. Anakin believed that Obi-Wan was the hallucination, and that whatever he was seeing in his mind was his reality. When he said that his master would disappear again… perhaps he was referring to all the times that Obi-Wan left his bed and broke off physical contact with his student. 

Obi-Wan moved to the other side of the bed and laid down, careful not to jostle his Padawan’s body. He closed Anakin’s eyelids with his fingers and whispered,

“I promise not to leave your side unless absolutely necessary.” He hoped Anakin could hear him. Obi-Wan settled on his side and kept one hand on Anakin’s chest, feeling his slowing heartbeat beneath his fingers. Obi-Wan shut his own eyes and tried to slumber, but many hours passed before sleep claimed him. His mind was too restless, thinking of all the horrible things that his dear student might be seeing behind his eyes.

When he did sleep, he dreamed of a simpler day, when he and Anakin were sparring in the courtyard. It was the first time his student had bested him in lightsaber practice, the heat of his blade nearly burning Obi-Wan’s skin where it almost touched his throat. Anakin had smiled in triumph, his brilliant blue eyes shining with victory. And Obi-Wan had smiled, too, so proud to call this strong and exuberant boy his Padawan.

@@@

The blinding sun woke Obi-Wan early in the morning, and he felt a dull headache in the back of his skull as he blearily opened his eyes. He saw Anakin lying beside him and was momentarily confused, forgetting for a moment that he had slept in his student’s bed last night. His hand had fallen to Anakin’s stomach, and he did not move for a few minutes, feeling as Anakin breathed softly.

Sleepily, Obi-Wan moved closer and nuzzled his face against Anakin’s hair, his hand moving to trail underneath Anakin’s tunic, feeling his warm skin. Eventually, his rational mind awoke and he pulled away quickly, self-resentment rising in his chest. What was he doing like this, touching Anakin so casually when his student was unconscious and unaware? 

He loved his Padawan dearly, and he knew that such attachment was unwise. It was nearly impossible for masters and Padawans to not form some amount of attachment to each other (and Obi-Wan still struggled not to pain at the thought of his late Qui-Gon). He knew that once Anakin’s braid was severed, he would need to distance himself and let their bond fade. But for now, he let himself be selfish and allowed his affection for Anakin to grow. But to cross the boundary and pursue a romantic relationship with his young Padawan… he wouldn’t even try. It was one thing to love Anakin, but to want him as a lover was strictly forbidden in Obi-Wan’s mind.

And now, as his body betrayed him during Anakin’s moment of helplessness, he felt disgust and self-hatred. He resolved to never take advantage of his student in such a way.

He was brought out of his reverie with a knock at their door. Panna was here to perform her morning routine with Anakin. Obi-Wan rose from the bed and carefully maneuvered over Anakin without touching him, seeing that his eyelids were still closed. Hopefully, his student had experienced some peaceful rest last night. 

“He regained some awareness last night, but it left him after a few moments,” Obi-Wan explained after greeting Panna and letting her inside.

“Brief moments of lucidity are common before Pelko bug victims fully regain consciousness,” Panna explained as they walked to Anakin’s room. Obi-Wan nodded, watching as she went to Anakin’s side and began to lift him up to take him to the refresher. She was quite strong thanks to her Zabrakian blood, and she did not struggle as she carried him. Obi-Wan left the room, deciding that she would likely not appreciate his hovering.

He went to the kitchen to prepare a large meal for himself. He did not want to leave Anakin’s side today for another meal if he did not have to, so he forced himself to eat until close to vomiting. With his stomach uncomfortably full, he sat down on the couch and meditated to clear his mind. He was so engrossed in his meditation that he did not notice Panna walking into the common room, and she lightly touched his shoulder for his attention.

“His teeth are cleaned, his face has been washed, and he should not need to relieve his bladder until I return this evening. He did not seem aware of my presence at any point. I trust that you will feed him his juice?” She said, and Obi-Wan nodded.

“Thank you, Panna. I will give him his juice and all the water he’ll need today.” She smiled at him and wished him luck.

“Take time to care for yourself, too, Obi-Wan,” she said before she left, and Obi-Wan hoped his smile didn’t appear disingenuous. His own needs were of little concern to him until Anakin was well again. 

Obi-Wan brought a bottle of the Muja juice and a glass of water to Anakin’s bedside table, and he surveyed his student for a moment. Anakin’s eyes were open but unseeing, his pupils following the figures inside his mind. Obi-Wan joined him on the bed and pulled his body up so that he could hug him.

“Please come back to me, Anakin,” he said softly, pressing the side of his face against Anakin’s, feeling the smoothness of his cheek. “I will be here waiting until you do. I promise.” He held Anakin for a long moment, hoping the extended contact would at least soothe his Padawan. Then, he gently positioned Anakin’s back against the wall and reached for the juice. As he brought it to Anakin’s lips, he saw the focus in his eyes.

“You promise?” Anakin whispered, holding Obi-Wan’s gaze.

“Yes, Anakin. I will not leave you. I’m real,” he replied, hoping his voice would convey his sincerity. Anakin parted his lips as if to say something else, but then his eyes glossed over, and once again he was submerged inside of his caged mind. Obi-Wan’s own eyes felt hot as he brought the juice to Anakin’s lips, and his student drank easily. He drank the water without issues, as well, though he remained unaware of the world outside of his head. Obi-Wan moved Anakin so that he was once again lying flat on the bed with his head resting against the pillows.

Obi-Wan used the Force to call his datapad to his hand, and he laid down beside Anakin, pulling the blanket over both of their forms. Carefully, he positioned Anakin so that his head was lying against his master’s chest, his arm across his middle, and his leg resting atop both of Obi-Wan’s. Obi-Wan cradled his back with one arm, and held the datapad in his other hand. Feeling that they were both comfortable, he began reading to his Padawan from an action-adventure novel this time, knowing his student preferred such fiction over crime novels.

He read for an hour before getting up to retrieve more water for Anakin. He gave him two glasses at once this time, as to reduce the frequency of leaving his Padawan’s side. Then he settled back into the bed and reclaimed his earlier position with Anakin’s head tucked underneath his chin. He stroked Anakin’s arm lightly with his free hand, reading at a leisurely pace. His poor sleep from last night was catching up with him, as he struggled to keep his eyes open.

At some point, he fell asleep. When he awoke, he groaned and cursed himself for losing time. Checking his internal clock, he found that a couple of hours had passed since Anakin last had water. He gently extracted his Padawan from his side, turning him onto his back with his head against the pillows, and began to move from the bed. He stopped when he heard Anakin’s voice.

“Master,” he called softly, his eyes trained on Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan felt his heart jump and he raised a hand to gently stroke the side of Anakin’s face.

“Yes, Anakin, I’m here,” he said, briefly allowing himself to hope that Anakin would stay for good this time.

“Don’t go,” Anakin croaked, fear shining in his eyes. Obi-Wan tenderly smiled and replied,

“I need to give you more water. I will only be gone for a moment.”

“No,” Anakin argued, his lips pouting. “Hold me.”

Obi-Wan could not deny him. He laid back down and pulled Anakin into his arms, holding him close against his body. Anakin exhaled in relief and nuzzled into Obi-Wan’s chest, seemingly content for the moment. Obi-Wan ached to pull him even closer somehow, until they were one singular entity. He did not want to hurt his Padawan, however, so he kept his arms relatively loose around Anakin’s body. He petted Anakin’s hair and listened to his breathing, wondering when he would be allowed to retrieve the water.

After a few moments, he felt Anakin’s body tense slightly. Obi-Wan called his name and Anakin did not reply. Gingerly, Obi-Wan rolled him onto his back and looked at his eyes. Anakin was gone once again. Obi-Wan stomped down his disappointment, knowing that soon enough Anakin would be himself again; he just needed to be patient.

He gave Anakin two more glasses of water and read to him for another short while until Panna returned for their evening routine. Obi-Wan thanked her and left to the courtyard. He felt much better about leaving his shared quarters knowing that Panna was there with Anakin. Still, he exercised briskly, just enough to maintain his strength, and returned shortly.

After taking a shower, he joined Panna in Anakin’s room to check on their progress. Panna was laying Anakin down on the bed, a wry smile on her lips. She noticed Obi-Wan and said,

“I think he sees me now.” Obi-Wan moved to Anakin’s bed and frowned. Anakin was definitely seeing Panna; his focused eyes were trained on her form, and he was scowling in anger, baring his teeth at her.

“I apologize for—”

“That is unnecessary, Obi-Wan,” Panna chuckled, apparently finding Anakin’s reaction to her amusing. “I’m guessing that he’s a bit more warm towards you?”

Obi-Wan nodded, grateful for her agreeable nature. She gave him her progress report and wished him a good night before leaving. Before Obi-Wan went to retrieve the juice and more water, he moved to Anakin and sat beside him on the bed, taking one of his hands in his own.

“It’s alright, Anakin. I’m here now,” he said, stroking his thumb over the back of Anakin’s hand. Anakin stared at him for a moment, his expression slowly losing its animosity, before he smiled and said,

“Master.”

Obi-Wan felt his heart lurch; Anakin had not smiled since he’d been paralyzed. Unable to prevent the wave of emotion crashing over him, Obi-Wan released a dry sob and moved to cover Anakin’s body with his own, holding him close.

“Oh, my dear Anakin,” he wept, pressing his cheek against his Padawan’s, breathing in his clean scent. He regained his composure quickly and rose to his knees, wiping at his wet face. It was selfish of him to show this weakness in front of Anakin; he needed to be strong for him.

Anakin stared up at him, no longer smiling. His own tears were welling in his eyes, and he said,

“Master, help me.”

“How?” Obi-Wan asked desperately, willing to do anything to bring Anakin back to him. 

“Hold me,” Anakin implored, his lips quivering, and Obi-Wan leaned down, pulling him close. He rolled until they were both on their sides, and he wrapped his arms tightly around Anakin’s frame. “Tighter,” his Padawan requested breathlessly, and Obi-Wan complied, embracing him as strongly as he had desired earlier, until he was sure Anakin’s ribs were aching with the pressure. “Yes,” Anakin whispered, barely any sound escaping his throat.

Obi-Wan held him for a long time. His arms ached with the strain but he was uncaring of the discomfort as he felt Anakin’s soft breaths ghosting over his neck. He whispered, ‘Nothing can hurt you,’ and ‘I’ve got you, Anakin,’ repeatedly, letting his love for his student flow out into the surrounding Force, hoping that Anakin could feel it.

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed before wondrously, he felt the barrier lift between Anakin and the Force. Finally, _finally_ , Obi-Wan was able to feel Anakin through their bond, and though the connection was faint, he could feel his Padawan’s emotions. Fear and confusion swirled inside of Anakin, but now there was an emerging emotion: Hope.

“Come back to me, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said, projecting all of his love into Anakin’s mind. He felt Anakin gasp, and after another moment, their connection widened. Anakin was regaining his awareness for good this time. Obi-Wan continued to hold him and call his name, until clarity overcame confusion, and Anakin said,

“Master?” His voice was different this time, more like his usual tone, and Obi-Wan waited another beat before loosening his hold enough so that he could pull back and look at his Padawan’s face. Anakin looked at him, his eyes clear and his mind coherent, before he tried to move and yelped in pain.

“Don’t move, Anakin,” Obi-Wan instructed, moving so that he could lay Anakin on his back.

“Why not? What happened to me?” Anakin demanded, anger and panic lacing his words as he stared up at his master. Obi-Wan could not keep the gleeful smile from his face; his Anakin had returned to him. “Why are you smiling?” Anakin asked suspiciously, his anger growing inside of him the longer he was kept in the dark.

Obi-Wan explained everything to Anakin, watching as Anakin’s frown deepened the longer he went on. Once he was finished, Anakin said,

“I want the treatment.” Predictable.

“I’m sorry, Anakin, but that may not be a wise course of action. You should regain full mobility in less than two weeks, now.” Anakin flashed his eyes at him and snarled,

“And why do _you_ get to decide what happens to my body? I’m not a child anymore, Master. I _will_ have that treatment.”

Obi-Wan frowned at his student. He’d almost forgotten how insubordinate his Padawan could be. Keeping his voice carefully leveled, he replied,

“It’s not my decision, Anakin. Chief Healer Yulilan advised us to wait until the toxin leaves your system naturally. I know you don’t want to hear that—”

Anakin screamed, trying to sit up and falling back in defeat.

“Fucking Sith-spit, why does it hurt so _much_?” He bemoaned, tears stinging his eyes. Obi-Wan shifted further to his side of the bed, sighing.

“Please do not move, Anakin. You can move your facial muscles and neck without pain, but anything else will hurt greatly. In a few days, the pain should disappear.” He reached to wipe at Anakin’s eyes before his tears fell, and Anakin snapped his head to the other side.

“Don’t touch me,” he hissed. Obi-Wan felt his own anger rising, indignant at Anakin’s petulant reactions to him.

“Ungrateful,” he muttered underneath his breath as he stood from the bed, but of course his student heard him.

“You don’t understand anything. Go away,” Anakin said, refusing to look at his master.

And where had that sweet Anakin gone, the one who pleaded Obi-Wan to hold him and to never leave him? Had he been sacrificed to the hallucinations, so that this brat could come back and continue to grind Obi-Wan’s nerves?

“You would be dead without me, Padawan,” Obi-Wan returned, preferring anger over the hurt aching behind his eyes. 

“Oh, well thank you sooo much, _Master_ , for not letting me waste away,” Anakin shot back sarcastically, rolling his eyes at the wall.

Obi-Wan bit his tongue before he could continue their needless verbal combat. He should have been prepared for this; Anakin loved to disappoint him, through and through. He knew he should try to give Anakin another bottle of juice before bed, but he also knew that Anakin would only knock it out of his hands. 

“I hope those hallucinations don’t bother you tonight,” Obi-Wan finally said as he made to leave Anakin alone in his room. Briefly, he saw fear and dread wash over Anakin’s eyes, but he didn’t allow himself to be swayed. Anakin would learn to behave respectfully towards his master, or else he would suffer the consequences.

Obi-Wan turned off the light and closed the door before retiring to his own room, regret and self-hatred already clawing at his chest before he collapsed onto his cold, empty bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut is finally appearing in the next chapter. I will try and update soon. Thank you all so much for reading! All feedback is appreciated <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, this became longer than it should have. Thank you all for your patience. I promise promise promise the smut is coming in the next, final chapter.

Obi-Wan couldn’t sleep. He laid in his bed for a couple of hours and tried to calm his mind, but he was unsuccessful. 

Why did Anakin have to challenge his master every time? But Obi-Wan should have been more understanding. Anakin had just come out of a terrifying trance that lasted for days, and inside his mind, it could have seemed like much longer. He didn’t appear to remember any of his little conversations with Obi-Wan before regaining full awareness, so perhaps he didn’t realize the extent of the care his master had provided.

Obi-Wan had only told him about the effects of the toxin and the care he would need, not specifically what had happened over the last couple of days. And the look in his eyes when Obi-Wan had mentioned the hallucinations.…

He’d immediately assumed that his terror could not be so great if Obi-Wan could not feel it through their bond, but now as he laid in his bed and tried to reach for Anakin’s mind, he realized Anakin was shielding his thoughts and emotions. He must’ve put up barriers as soon as he and Obi-Wan began arguing. 

And on top of everything, Obi-Wan had forgotten to perform the physical therapy with his student. Tomorrow, his muscles would surely be aching. Sighing, Obi-Wan rose from his bed and decided that he needed to forget his own hurt feelings and tend to his Padawan. They had all the time in the world to argue and hiss at each other when Anakin was well again; right now, he needed help.

Obi-Wan knocked on Anakin’s door, but received no answer. He waited a moment before walking in anyway, looking to Anakin who laid motionless in his bed. The light from the moons allowed Obi-Wan to see that his student was still awake, his eyes wide open—

A bolt of fear ran through Obi-Wan. Had Anakin fallen back into his hallucinations? He rushed to Anakin’s side and searched his eyes, looking—

“What?” Anakin said, scathing. It seemed that his anger had not dissipated in their time apart, but Obi-Wan was unfazed, just relieved that Anakin was still coherent and still here with him.

“I just want to talk, Anakin. Can I turn on the light?” Obi-Wan said softly.

“Not like I can stop you.”

Obi-Wan let the words roll off of him, turning and walking to hit the lights. When he returned to Anakin’s side and sat down in the chair beside his bed, Anakin refused to look at him, staring at the ceiling.

“Anakin, I’m sorry for saying those unkind things earlier. You have been inflicted with this terrible venom, and I didn’t even think to ask you what your hallucinations were like, to try and understand the pain you—”

“Stop,” Anakin said, finally looking at his master. His eyes were bloodshot, and Obi-Wan abruptly realized that there were dried tear tracks running into his hairline. Anakin had been crying. “I don’t care. Go away.” His words were hard but he couldn’t hide the tremor in his voice.

Obi-Wan frowned in confusion, perplexed with Anakin’s behavior. Even on his bad days, Anakin was not ever so unreasonable when Obi-Wan tried to make things right again. Anakin was keeping something from him.

“Why do you have your shields up, Anakin? I can barely feel you through our bond,” he ventured, trying to put some of the pieces together.

“Because you’re annoying. Why can’t you just leave me alone?” Anakin replied, a hint of defeat in his voice as he spoke the last words. He looked away from Obi-Wan again, turning his head completely to the other side so that Obi-Wan couldn’t see his eyes.

“You do want me to leave you, but not because I’m annoying,” Obi-Wan said, standing from the chair. “Anakin, please tell me. What were you seeing while you were unconscious?” He felt that the answer to Anakin’s odd behavior lied there, but Anakin said nothing. A long moment passed before Obi-Wan’s patience ran out, and got into the bed with Anakin, easily assuming the position he used when he would give Anakin his juice and water.

“No!” Anakin cried out, immediately trying to roll out from under him and screaming in pain as he struggled. Obi-Wan quickly subdued him with the Force, straitening his body flat against the bed. Anakin was crying, his face twisted in pain. Obi-Wan’s heart ached; why was Anakin acting like this?

“Anakin, I’m not going to hurt you,” he said softly, reaching to wipe at his tears.

“Don’t touch me,” Anakin pleaded, his voice no longer hate-filled but desperate. Obi-Wan gently caught one of his rolling tears with his thumb and brushed it away, his touch as light as he could keep it.

“Does it hurt when I touch you?” He asked, wondering if that was the answer. Anakin bit his lip, looking frustrated as he shook his head. “Why don’t you want me to touch you, Anakin?”

“You wouldn’t understand. Just give me that treatment and all of this can stop,” Anakin whispered. “Or… or have someone else care for me until I’m better, at least.” Obi-Wan frowned sadly at his Padawan, his unwillingness to be open with him more painful than any of the spiteful words he’d spoken tonight.

“Anakin, I’m sorry, but I will not endanger you by giving you a treatment that has not been tested on this strain of the toxin,” Obi-Wan replied softly, “Though I wish I could. I don’t wish for you to suffer any longer. Please tell me why you don’t want me caring for you.” He gently wiped at Anakin’s wet face with his sleeve and tried to send his love through their bond, but Anakin refused to let him in.

Anakin waited a long moment before answering.

“You don’t have to be the perfect Jedi all the time,” he whispered, so quietly that Obi-Wan almost didn’t hear him. “You don’t have to do this for me just because I’m your Padawan.”

“What do you mean?” Obi-Wan pressed gently, bewildered by Anakin’s answer. Anakin swallowed thickly and looked away, his eyes brimming with tears once again. “You think I’m caring for you because I feel I have an obligation to do so?” He continued, hoping that he had it wrong. Anakin blinked and the tears slipped past his eyes, and Obi-Wan quickly brushed them away.

“We fight all the time. I’m constantly disappointing you,” Anakin replied, still looking to the side. “Why… why care for me the way you have if not because you think it’s what you _should_ do as my master?”

Obi-Wan struggled not to let his exasperation show. _This_ was the reason why Anakin had behaved so caustically earlier? To push Obi-Wan away and give his master a justifiable reason to stop caring for his student?

“Yes, we have our disagreements, as do all masters and their Padawans. You are not constantly disappointing me; I lecture you because that is what I must do as your master; explain your mistakes and how to correct them. But I am proud of the Jedi you are shaping up to be, Anakin,” Obi-Wan started, shifting so that he was no longer sitting atop his student but rather to the side of him. Anakin finally glanced towards his face but wouldn’t meet his eyes. Obi-Wan wouldn’t push the matter. “And as for the care I’ve been providing… it’s not that difficult to give you juice and water.”

“That isn’t all you’ve been doing,” Anakin said, finally meeting his gaze, accusation in his voice. “You barely left my side at all yesterday, and you… comforted me every time you gave me something to drink… and whenever I asked for anything.…” Anakin trailed off, his face turning red. He looked away again and huffed, seemingly frustrated with his inability to keep speaking.

Obi-Wan processed his words, surprised that his student seemed to remember even more than just his short moments of lucidity from the last few days. The knowledge gave him a strange sense of happiness, a quiet joy that those moments with Anakin wouldn’t just be a secret known to Obi-Wan. At the same time, he felt his own face burning hot, Anakin’s embarrassment triggering his own. Again, he reminded himself that he had nothing to be ashamed of; he had only been fulfilling his role as a sufficient caretaker.

“Anakin, it really has been no trouble at all to stay with you and provide you with what I can,” Obi-Wan began carefully. Anakin glanced at his eyes, a nervous tension etched on his face. “The Council has granted me permission to remain with you until you have recovered, and honestly I much prefer this ‘mission’ over the many I’ve endured as a Jedi. If given the choice between trudging through the reeking swamps of Dagobah or sharing your bed with you…” he tapered off, biting his tongue. He was saying too much, and his words were far too suggestive. He put his own shields up lest he give his rather impure thoughts away. Anakin watched him, his eyes widening as if in surprise. Clearing his throat, Obi-Wan finished, “Well, the decision is obvious.”

“But… why take on so much of the responsibility yourself?” Anakin pressed, dissatisfied with his answer. “Why do so much for me if another caretaker could’ve done so?”

“Because you are more than just my Padawan, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said in a rush, wishing his student would understand. Briefly, he considered saying those three, dangerous words out loud, to finally spill his secret. He’d shown Anakin his love in some ways, most notably through the tendrils of affection he would send him through their bond. But he had never been so forthcoming verbally, and he doubted his student realized the extent of his attachment.

No, now was not the time. How cruel would it be for Obi-Wan to profess his love when Anakin had no choice but to lie there and listen, with no option of sprinting away if he wished? 

“You are also my dear friend,” he said instead, and he watched as Anakin’s face fell slightly, as if he’d been expecting a different answer. “I feel a sense of comfort when I’m providing most of your care, because there are very few others I would trust to provide you with what you need.” In fact, there was _no one_ else Obi-Wan trusted with such a task, and the thought of another holding his vulnerable Anakin close sent bitter resentment twisting down into his stomach. He wasn’t about to admit such an unbecoming truth, however.

Anakin waited a moment before replying.

“The hallucinations… they aren’t gone,” he said quietly, his voice thick with unease. “I can feel them in the back of my head. They’ll come back if I fall asleep, I’m sure of it. And then, I don’t know when they’ll let go of me again…”

He sounded more frightened than he had in years; Obi-Wan had never seen such anxiety in his student ever since Anakin had turned fourteen. His heart broke for the boy.

“Yulilan never said anything about the hallucinations returning once the patient regained full awareness,” he said. “Even if that does happen, however, I know now how to bring you back.” Obi-Wan ran his hand lightly over Anakin’s arm in what he hoped was a comforting touch. Anakin bit his lip, looking as if he wanted to argue. “Anakin, if you’ll permit me, I will gladly sleep in your bed tonight so that my presence may keep you lucid.”

“Yes,” Anakin said quickly, and he blushed before stammering, “i-if you don’t mind, that’s okay with me, I mean.” Then, more quietly he said, “I don’t want you to see me like that again.”

“You have nothing to be ashamed of, Anakin,” Obi-Wan replied easily, running his knuckles lightly over the inside of Anakin’s arm. Anakin relaxed somewhat, either from his words or the soft touch, the tension easing from his face. “I know you would do the same for me, and feel no judgment or resentment.”

“But would you ever want to be in my position?” Anakin countered, his voice taking on a frustrated edge, as if Obi-Wan simply did not understand. “Imagine it right now, how you would feel if you were in my place and I was in yours.”

Obi-Wan felt obligated to listen to his student, as he regretfully had not considered Anakin’s feelings concerning his predicament. He closed his eyes and pictured himself in his bed, completely helpless and unconscious to the world, while Anakin cared for him nearly all hours of the day. Unexpectedly, anxiety and dread flooded his chest, his breathing briefly labored as his system reacted to the perceived stress. For Anakin to see him like that… he hoped such a day would never come.

Anakin was staring at him intently when Obi-Wan emerged from his thoughts and opened his eyes. For a moment, Obi-Wan was at a loss for words. What could he say to comfort his Padawan? Feeling his own, much less severe sort of helplessness, he stretched out beside of Anakin, laying down and resting his head on Anakin’s pillow so that they were eye level. Gently, carefully, he brushed his fingers over Anakin’s cheek, and Anakin’s eyelids fluttered closed as he accepted the touch.

“Right now, you’re lucid; you’re here with me,” Obi-Wan said softly, his fingertips smoothing over Anakin’s round cheekbone. “I won’t let anything steal you away again,” he continued with conviction, though he wasn’t sure if he could keep such a promise. To the best of his ability, he would protect his student from his poisoned mind. Anakin opened his eyes and nodded lightly, swallowing thickly as he blinked away his new tears.

“Okay,” is all he said, but Obi-Wan understood; Anakin was trusting him to keep his word. Obi-Wan resolved to not let him down.

“Now,” he said, leaning up, letting the tender moment pass. It was not time to sleep just yet. “I need to give you a bottle of juice and a glass of water before we get too comfortable. I also forgot your physical therapy exercises tonight,” he finished, guilt seeping into his voice. Anakin smiled softly and only nodded.

Obi-Wan carefully climbed over Anakin and out of the bed, walking briskly to the kitchen and returning a moment later. Now that Anakin could support and turn his head, Obi-Wan decided to sit in the chair as he gave Anakin his liquids. They spoke no words as Anakin drank, but they held each other’s gaze. Obi-Wan was nearly overwhelmed by the trust and gratefulness in Anakin’s eyes as they performed the ritual. He knew his own eyes were shining with fondness.

Afterwards, they moved on to the physical therapy exercises. 

“I’m going to start with your legs,” Obi-Wan explained, pushing the blanket to the side. Anakin nodded, watching quietly as his master firmly gripped his ankle and behind his knee. Obi-Wan lifted and pushed Anakin’s knee back towards his body, and then pulled it straight. Anakin sighed softly, his eyelids closing in apparent pleasure as Obi-Wan repeated the motion 9 times before switching to the other leg. 

Obi-Wan focused on his breathing as he worked, letting his mind wander. Anakin still had his shields up, his thoughts a mystery to his master, but Obi-Wan would not urge those shields down until his student was ready. He moved on to Anakin’s arms and performed the exercises that Panna had showed him, hoping that he was effectively working and relaxing his student’s muscles. When he slid both hands over one of Anakin’s own, Anakin opened his eyes and peered curiously at Obi-Wan’s movements. His master rolled his thumbs over each of his knuckles, kneading the small muscles surrounding the bone. 

Anakin made another sound, almost like a pleasured moan, before he bit it off and his face reddened. Obi-Wan had mercy and did not say a word, just kept massaging before pulling and stretching each finger. He did the same to the other hand and then smoothed each hand against the bed.

“Now, I’m going to turn you over and massage your shoulders and back,” Obi-Wan said, his voice strangely hoarse. He cleared his throat as Anakin nodded, and then he gently maneuvered Anakin onto his stomach with the aid of the Force. Once Anakin was settled, he asked, “Are you comfortable?”

“Yes, Master,” Anakin replied quietly, pressing the side of his face into the pillows. Obi-Wan joined him on the bed, swinging his leg over until he was hovering above his form, careful not to relax his body lest his groin brush against Anakin’s hips. He wasn’t aroused, but he knew that would change if his body came into contact with Anakin’s in such an inappropriate manner. Taking a steadying breath, he leaned forward and set his hands on Anakin’s shoulders. 

He kneaded Anakin’s muscles gently at first, moving from his shoulders to his neck, and then down his back. Anakin was breathing deeply, his eyes closed as he let Obi-Wan work. Obi-Wan worked his hands up, now digging in his thumbs to loosen the knots deep inside of Anakin’s muscles.

“Ahh…” Anakin groaned, his eyebrows furrowing.

“Did that hurt?” Obi-Wan said, immediately stilling his hands.

“No, it feels good,” Anakin breathed, blearily opening an eye to glance back at his master. “My tunic is a bit irritating….” Obi-Wan rolled the fabric between his fingers. It was soft by Temple standards, but still, he could guess that the clothing was stifling as it rubbed against his Padawan’s skin.

“I can remove it if—”

“No,” Anakin said quickly, his face heating up again. How many times had Obi-Wan embarrassed the boy tonight? “Th-that’s okay.” Obi-Wan continued his ministrations without commenting, massaging Anakin’s shoulders and back until the boy seemed boneless beneath him. Finally, when his hands were too tired, Obi-Wan climbed off of the bed and carefully rolled Anakin over onto his back again.

Anakin turned his red face away from Obi-Wan, biting his lip. Obi-Wan surveyed his student and understood his shame; apparently the massage had given him an erection, one that was unmistakable underneath his loose pants. Obi-Wan suddenly felt hot underneath his collar too, but for entirely different reasons. Unbidden, a fantasy emerged inside of his mind, one in which he pulled those pants off of Anakin and took care of his problem. 

“Are you ready to sleep, Anakin?” he said, stomping down his unwarranted desires. Now was not the time to behave as a lecherous old man. 

“Mhhm,” Anakin hummed eagerly, still unable to face his master. Obi-Wan considered telling him that there was no need to feel embarrassed over something he couldn’t control, but decided the acknowledgement would only shame his student more. So, he said nothing as he picked up the empty bottle and glass and took them to the kitchen. He waited there for a long moment, hoping the time would allow Anakin to calm down.

He needed to cool down, too, before sharing a bed with his increasingly attractive Padawan. Usually, he would be able to focus and will his base urges away, but his resolve was… somewhat weakened after a long dry spell without any fulfilling contact with a bedmate. And with Anakin being so responsive at the simplest touch, with his gratifying noises, and even his uncharacteristic embarrassment. His student had always been so arrogant and openly self-assured, but now without his strength and at the mercy of his master, those traits seemed to disappear completely.

Obi-Wan needed to be very careful. Anakin was trusting him.

He returned to his room a few moments later and turned off the light. He laid down beside his student, settling on his back. He glanced at Anakin, who had his eyes closed. They boy was afraid of his hallucinations taking control again as he slept, and Obi-Wan knew how to keep them away if they truly were still a threat. He found that he couldn’t close the distance between them, however.

“Anakin, can I…” he started, the word stuck in his throat. But thankfully, Anakin replied,

“Yes.”

Obi-Wan reached and gently pulled and handled Anakin’s body until the boy was resting on his side, his head close to Obi-Wan’s, his arm lain across his master’s torso. His leg was sliding forward, so Obi-Wan gripped underneath his knee and pulled his thigh across his hips. Now, with Anakin wrapped around him, Obi-Wan kept one arm across Anakin’s shoulders to hold him against his frame, while his other hand rested on his knee.

“Is this alright?” he asked quietly, enjoying Anakin’s heat more than he should have. Like this, his Padawan’s groin was pressing into his hip, and he could feel his arousal through his sleep clothes.

“Yes, Master,” Anakin whispered, his breath warm against Obi-Wan’s neck. Obi-Wan listened as his breathing became deeper, his body relaxing fully. Obi-Wan nuzzled his hair lightly and let sleep overtake them both.

@@@

Anakin was still himself the next morning. He blearily opened his eyes when Obi-Wan gently woke him, and then he smiled in quiet relief.

“Are they gone?” Obi-Wan asked.

“I think so,” Anakin said, at peace.

Panna arrived for her morning shift an hour later. Obi-Wan introduced them, and Panna smiled kindly at a slightly pink Anakin. He’d remembered his animosity towards her, when he thought she was a threat, another being born up from his mind. 

“It’s nice to meet you, Anakin,” she said, and Obi-Wan smiled at her. He was glad the Council made the right decision with choosing her as Anakin’s second caretaker. He left them be while he changed his clothes and prepared a meal for himself. Anakin’s routine was much shorter this morning, and Obi-Wan had barely slipped into meditation when Panna was walking into the common room.

“He’s in good spirits; I’m relieved,” she said, throwing a grateful smile towards him. He returned the expression but wondered why she assumed that Anakin’s pleasant mood was due to Obi-Wan. She made to leave their quarters when she paused at the door. “Obi-Wan, why don’t you join me for a drink tonight?”

“Tonight?” Obi-Wan repeated. He chuckled a bit awkwardly. “Hm, I think we should schedule that drink for when Anakin recovers, don’t you agree?” He suggested. Panna faced him and smiled a bit wryly.

“I’m not asking you for a date, my dear. I’m asking you to take a break and relax for a couple of hours.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, Panna, but who will—”

“Anakin is lucid, now,” Panna said softly. “He can stand to be on his own for a couple of hours. I’m sure he’d appreciate the privacy, even.”

Obi-Wan considered her words. Perhaps Anakin _would_ appreciate some time away from his master.

“Do you have any idea when he’ll recover?” He asked, and Panna shook her head.

“Without knowing exactly how much toxin was initially pumped into his system, it’s difficult to make a prediction. But I would guess that you’ll be spending at least 6 or 7 more days like this. You need some time off, Obi-Wan.”

“Thank you, Panna,” Obi-Wan said, deciding that he would accept her offer. His student would surely grow sick of his company before another week passed.

She had turned on Anakin’s HoloTV before she left, and she’d adjusted his pillows so that he could sit up as he lounged.

“Hey,” Anakin said as Obi-Wan walked into his room, smiling as if he had a secret. Obi-Wan reached out and found his shields towering high. 

“How are you feeling?” Obi-Wan replied, moving to sit across from Anakin in the chair.

“Better,” Anakin said, sounding genuine. “It still hurts when I move though,” he added, and then attempted to shrug his shoulders. He briefly howled in pain and then went limp against the pillows, breathing hard.

“You think that’s funny?” Obi-Wan said, unamused. Anakin smirked but thankfully did not attempt to shrug like the cheeky side of him probably considered.

“Not my problem that you have no sense of humor,” he teased, no real bite to his words. His eyes softened. “Thanks for staying with me last night.”

“Of course, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said, as if the gratitude was unnecessary. Truth be told, he was enjoying their new, foreign dynamic a bit too much. He wanted to see more of this side of Anakin, despite the unfortunate accompanying side effects. “Would you like to hear the daily news?” He asked as he moved to take his datapad from the bedside table, where he’d left it the day before.

“Sure.”

Afterwards, Obi-Wan glanced at the HoloTV, unsure of how to proceed. He cleared his throat. “Would you like me to leave you in peace, or…?”

“You can stay,” Anakin said easily. Obi-Wan looked at him, and then down at his datapad, pondering whether to suggest reading from that action-adventure novel, before Anakin continued, “Why don’t you tell me about your past, Master?”

“What would you like to know?” Obi-Wan replied, setting the datapad to the side and making himself comfortable in the small chair.

“What were you like as a Padawan, when you were my age?” Anakin asked, a playful smile on his face. Obi-Wan hummed, unsure if he liked the topic. Anakin saying those words made him feel like an old man, but he knew that he was indeed old compared to his youthful student. He was closer to 40 now rather than 20, and Anakin still had a few more months before he escaped his teenage years. 

But he humored his student, glad for this suggestion to pass the time. It was almost surreal, interacting with Anakin like this, when the other was still and attentive. Usually, the boy was always in motion, excited for a new challenge and daydreaming of his conquests instead of listening to Obi-Wan’s instruction. Now, Anakin had little choice but to be bound to his bed and observe instead of act. 

Obi-Wan told him a few stories, the ones that stood out in his mind but that weren’t too painful. Usually, it was easier to remember the horrific close-calls and the agonizing emotional trauma of the uncertainty of another breath taken. But he did not retell those times, instead focusing on the few joyous victories that had made a real impact on the lives of others. 

Obi-Wan had always desired to leave a positive, lasting impact on the lives he interfered with, not for glory but instead for his own peace of mind and sense of purpose. He was not blind to the Order’s faults, and knew he’d played a role in many doomed mission objectives. Those moments in which a kind face smiled at him in gratitude helped to ease his guilt.

“You left the Order once, when you were a Padawan,” Anakin mentioned after Obi-Wan gave him his fourth glass of water for the day. Obi-Wan gently dabbed at the trickle of water at the side of his mouth.

“Who told you that?” Obi-Wan pressed, not enthusiastic about sharing that particular story with his often-rebellious student.

“… I don’t remember,” Anakin lied, and then quickly continued, “But that doesn’t matter. You don’t have to tell me why.”

“It was so long ago,” Obi-Wan sighed, moving back. He closed his eyes and could still see Cerasi in his arms, could still hear her dying breath in his ears. He opened his eyes. “I was just a child, and did not understand my place in the universe.”

“Would you ever again leave the Order?” Anakin asked softly, as it were a forbidden secret to discuss. In truth, it was unwise to speak openly about abandoning the Jedi Order, but Obi-Wan knew they were safe and hidden from curious ears here in this room.

“To separate myself from the Order now would destroy my entire sense of identity. I am a Jedi Knight, and this is one of the few truths I’m sure of,” Obi-Wan answered. Anakin watched him, silent, apparently wanting him to continue. “Could I survive if I were exiled? Unless I’d done something abhorrent and forever ruined the trust vested in me by the Council, I have little doubts that they’d allow me to live a quiet life on some distant planet. I do not wish for such a fate, but I would accept it if it were to come to pass.”

Anakin hummed, thoughtful as he looked down at his legs. He did not get the opportunity to offer his own opinion on the matter; Panna was knocking at their door a moment later.

Where had their time gone? Obi-Wan had gotten lost in the numerous stories he’d told. 

He left Anakin and Panna to train his muscles in the Temple Gardens. The change of scenery was nice, but it did little to quell his slight agitation. He would never complain about his role in Anakin’s care, but the routine was beginning to make him restless. He enjoyed the new conversations they could entertain now that his student was lucid, yet he knew that neither of them would be content to spend all of the following days sitting around and conversating.

He returned to their quarters sooner than usual to ready himself for his night out with Panna. He dressed himself in more casual attire than he was accustomed to, and took time to trim his beard which had become somewhat unruly. Surveying himself in the mirror, he studied the wrinkles beside his eyes. He scowled at the evidence of his age before remembering that vanity was unbecoming of a Jedi. 

“I’ll meet you at The Blixies in half an hour?” Panna said as she gathered her things and readied to depart. He smiled and agreed to the time, saying that he looked forward to their ‘date.’ She grinned at him and left.

“You’re going out with Panna tonight?” Anakin questioned when Obi-Wan came to his room. His hair was wet from his bath.

“It’s nothing more than a relaxing outing with a friend,” Obi-Wan said, though he wondered why he felt the need to assure that there were no romantic feelings between the two of them.

“When will you be back?” Anakin pressed, and was he… pouting?

“I can stay if you’d like, Anakin,” Obi-Wan replied, unable to keep the disappointment out of his voice. Yes, he was feeling a bit stir crazy, but he didn’t want Anakin to think that this was his fault.

“No, go out and have some fun,” he insisted, forcing a smile. “I’ve got HoloTV. I’ll be fine here.”

“If you’re certain,” Obi-Wan said, and Anakin nodded. Obi-Wan departed then, a sense of unease worrying at the back of his mind.

@@@

He returned an hour later. Obi-Wan had sincerely _tried_ to enjoy himself with Panna, to become enraptured by her detailed accounts of strange patients and perplexing ailments, but he couldn’t seem to focus. Enthusiastically, he drank freely and without concern, a bit too eager to muddle his mind for a while.

“Wasn’t that your third drink?” Panna had asked, concerned as he waved the bartender over. Obi-Wan paused and rethought ordering another. Panna leaned forward and lightly touched his arm. “Obi-Wan, if there’s something you need to get off your chest, you know that you can tell me anything, and I won’t blab to another soul.”

“I just want him to be himself again,” Obi-Wan had slurred in a rush, the alcohol clouding his better judgment. The words came quickly, the weight of them heavy on his tongue. “I don’t want to have this power over Anakin; I feel like I could crush him so easily. I don’t know how to be what he needs.”

And Panna had been so kind and understanding, rubbing his back gently, offering her own words of comfort. But he hadn’t been able to hear her, too caught up in his own sick thoughts. He would give Anakin everything he asked for, and a dark part of him wished that Anakin would just ask for those forbidden things that haunted Obi-Wan’s lonely nights. 

“I need to go. Thank you, Panna,” he’d said hurriedly, because he couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t stand to be away from Anakin, who was all alone, unable to do anything but wait for his master to return. Panna had called him a cab and let him go, a sad frown on her features.

When he returned to his quarters, he downed a glass of water, hoping to sober himself a bit. He was too dangerous in this state, and Anakin was too vulnerable in his. Then, Obi-Wan stripped himself and changed into his sleep clothes, steadying himself with deep breaths. ‘Pull yourself together.’ He couldn’t be weak in front of his student, not now.

He took Anakin’s juice from the fridge and filled a glass of water before venturing to Anakin’s room.

“You’re back early,” Anakin greeted, smiling slyly as Obi-Wan came to the side of the bed. “You smell like booze.”

“We went to a bar,” Obi-Wan explained, barely refraining from hiccupping. He uncapped the bottle of juice and Anakin tilted his head back, so complacent for his master. Obi-Wan focused on his breathing, trying to avoid any wicked thoughts as Anakin drank. His Adam’s apple bobbed with every swallow, and Obi-Wan wanted to lean forward and feel the motion underneath his lips. Thankfully, he wasn’t so far gone as to forget why that was a bad idea, and so he wordlessly gave Anakin his water without making any moves.

“Couldn’t bear to be away from me?” Anakin said cheekily when Obi-Wan stood to begin their exercises. 

“Did you enjoy your brief time alone?” Obi-Wan asked instead of answering, unable to convincingly lie with the amount of alcohol in his system. He began again with Anakin’s legs, pushing and pulling carefully.

“No,” Anakin answered simply, staring at Obi-Wan’s hands. When Obi-Wan straightened his leg out, he couldn’t help but lightly caress his ankle before moving on to the next leg. They were quiet for the rest of the exercises, because Obi-Wan could not trust himself to speak without confiding his darkest thoughts. 

Before Obi-Wan moved to flip him onto his stomach, Anakin said,

“Wait. Remove my tunic first?”

Obi-Wan bit his lip hard and briefly considered ignoring the request. Could he control himself with Anakin bared to his waist? ‘You’re a Jedi Knight; pull yourself together,’ he told himself, and he hooked his fingers underneath the tunic. Slowly, he pulled it up and then took hold of Anakin’s arms, lifting them as he tugged the garment off. He set it the side of the bed and averted his eyes as he maneuvered his student onto his stomach.

Anakin’s back was smooth underneath Obi-Wan’s hands, save for the few jagged scars here and there. So young, and already so many marks. Obi-Wan kneaded his muscles and loosened his knots, wishing he’d brought some oil with him as to make this process easier. Anakin seemed to be enjoying himself, with his eyes closed and his lips slightly parted as he breathed deeply. 

Obi-Wan moved lower, massaging the muscles cushioning his spine, and noticed the twin dimples on Anakin’s lower back. He’d never seen those before. And really, the small indents shouldn’t have been so enticing, but Obi-Wan couldn’t resist running his thumbs over them. Anakin shivered beneath him, so responsive, and his master smartly decided to finish their therapy session quickly.

He stood and set one hand on Anakin’s shoulder and the other on his hip, rolling him over. The first thing he noticed was Anakin’s eyes, red-rimmed and wet, and then the red blush heating his face. And he already knew as he trailed his eyes down, lingering on the boy’s defined torso (really, the bedrest had done little harm to his impressive physique), and then lower to his tented pants.

“Don’t look,” Anakin implored, his voice breaking. Obi-Wan looked away, ashamed of his open leering, and ashamed that he’d embarrassed Anakin further. 

“Anakin, if you want, I could see about a… pleasure worker, perhaps,” Obi-Wan suggested softly, staring at the wall. The thought of someone else touching and pleasuring his Anakin, especially as he was now, set his blood aflame but he would not be selfish.

“No, fuck no,” Anakin bemoaned, and in his periphery, Obi-Wan watched as he shook his head. “I don’t want some… _pity_ fuck! Ugh, dammit. I don’t want some stranger coming in here and… and…”

He trailed off, his breaths coming out in hitched sobs.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan said, his heart breaking. He moved Anakin so that he was sitting up, and then he joined his student on the bed, unsure of how to comfort him, only knowing he needed to be closer. Mindful to keep their bodies separated, he hovered over Anakin and gently took his face between his hands, brushing away the rolling tears.

“I’m pathetic,” Anakin cried, his shoulders shaking as he sobbed, and Obi-Wan was glad that the involuntary movement caused no pain for his student. 

“You aren’t, Anakin. You’re the strongest man I’ve ever known,” Obi-Wan said, and he was honest, even if he’d never say the words in other circumstances. Anakin’s ego was already large enough, but now obviously it was wounded, and his self-esteem had shattered in the wake of his ailment. 

“I can’t even jerk myself off,” Anakin huffed, sniffling and swallowing his tears. He looked miserable. 

Obi-Wan leaned forward, so cautious, watching Anakin’s eyes as they widened at his proximity. With reverence, Obi-Wan kissed both of his eyes, catching the tear drops before they fell, holding them on his lips. ‘You only need to ask,’ he whispered through their bond, and Anakin was so still beneath him.

“It’s not something I can ask of a ‘dear friend,’” Anakin breathed, his breath warm against Obi-Wan’s face. Obi-Wan moved his mouth to Anakin’s ear, spilling his secrets.

“You are much more to me, Anakin. I want to help.” Tilting Anakin’s head, he placed a soft kiss right behind his ear. An invitation. A request. 

“Master…” Anakin whispered, another shiver racking through him. Obi-Wan leaned back, looking into Anakin’s eyes, full of wonder and anticipation. Slowly, Obi-Wan moved his hand, trailing his fingers down Anakin’s fluttering stomach.

“Call me Obi-Wan when I’m in your bed,” he insisted softly, and he knew his lust was evident in his eyes if not through their bond. 

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin said, his eyes dry, his tongue peeking out to wet his lips. Obi-Wan skirted his fingers along the waistband of Anakin’s pants, and he breathed out, “Touch me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. All feedback is appreciated. <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your patience; I apologize for the long delay between chapters! Life just became so hectic and then this story became absurdly long for no good reason, but finally it is finished! I will be splitting what was supposed to be the final chapter into two chapters for easier reading.  
> Also, I forgot to mention this, but Anakin is not the Chosen One in any of my stories. It just complicates things too much for me haha.  
> Alright, now please enjoy!

The words sent a thrill down Obi-Wan’s spine, and he wanted to do so much more than just touch. He wanted to watch Anakin come apart, and he wanted to be the cause of his pleasure. Oh, he wanted to do so many wonderful things to his student. He wanted to suck Anakin’s cock until he was spilling against his tongue, shaking and crying out, and then he wanted to take him, stuff him full of his prick—

“Wait,” Anakin whispered, and Obi-Wan stilled his fingers on the tie of his leggings. He focused his eyes, seeing the slight nervousness on his student’s face. “Um,” Anakin continued, “Can you kiss me a little, first?”

Obi-Wan pulled back, lifting his hands away from Anakin’s leggings.

“Of course, Anakin.”

Obi-Wan reminded himself to be careful. This was a very delicate situation, and he had the potential to shatter Anakin’s trust in him if he took too much. He had the opportunity to seriously hurt Anakin if he pushed past any of his limits. None of this was about Obi-Wan; all of this was solely for Anakin.

“Tell me if you want to stop at any point,” Obi-Wan said gently as he moved off of Anakin, settling to the side. Anakin watched him curiously, nodding, and Obi-Wan balanced himself on his elbow as he towered slightly above his student. Then, he reached and set a hand on Anakin’s jaw, keeping him still as he leaned closer.

Anakin softly shut his eyes, waiting, and Obi-Wan warred within himself, wanting to devour the boy. But he managed to just lightly brush his lips against Anakin’s, dry and brief. He pulled back and looked at Anakin’s face. 

“Was that okay?” He asked, anxious.

“Oh my Force, yes, Obi-Wan, now _kiss_ me,” Anakin urged, looking unimpressed. Obi-Wan rolled his eyes (and thought, ‘so that’s the attitude I get when I try to be considerate’), and leaned forward again. Anakin shut his eyes, and Obi-Wan briefly entertained the thought of leaving him waiting.

Again, he brushed his lips against Anakin’s, but this time he lingered. He pressed closer and breathed in the scent of his skin, and then he parted his lips, teasing the seam of Anakin’s mouth with his tongue. Anakin let his mouth fall open, just enough for Obi-Wan to taste him, to caress his tongue with his own. The boy responded shyly, the suction of his lips inviting Obi-Wan deeper, and Obi-Wan tilted his head and explored his mouth without hesitation.

They did not part for a long moment, Obi-Wan greedy for the taste of his student and the feel of his soft lips. When he did pull away, Anakin inhaled a deep breath and peered up at him, his cheeks a warm red. Obi-Wan knew his flustered state had little to do with shame and much to do with the same heat pooling in his own groin, the excitement thrumming through their veins. Obi-Wan wanted to ask if Anakin was alright with this, but the look in his eyes gave him the answer, and he could not resist leaning forward again and sealing their lips together.

Anakin moaned into the kiss, responding with enthusiasm as he slid his tongue alongside Obi-Wan’s. The Force surrounding them was heady and alive, almost warm against Obi-Wan’s skin as he found shockingly intimate pleasure in Anakin’s slick lips and hot mouth. He’d wanted this for longer than he’d ever admit to even himself, but he rarely let himself fantasize about kissing the magnificent boy underneath him, terrified of his shameful secrets being known through their bond. 

Surely, this was better than he could have envisioned. Obi-Wan pulled away only to hear the wet smacking of their lips as they parted, and then dipped his head down again, kissing Anakin deeply. He could do this for hours and drown in Anakin’s affection, the caress of his full lips and the heat of his mouth. Playfully, he nipped at that inviting bottom lip and then laved over the mark with his tongue, drawing a sweet sound from his boy. 

“Can I touch you?” Obi-Wan whispered against the side of his mouth, one of his hands slowly trailing to Anakin’s neck. 

“Yes,” Anakin breathed, turning his head and brushing his lips over Obi-Wan’s, asking without words. Obi-Wan smiled lightly and kissed him again, running his fingers over Anakin’s collarbones, across the toned muscle of his chest. His skin was so smooth. Unable to resist his impulse, Obi-Wan searched with his fingertips and found one of Anakin’s nipples, smiling into the kiss as he pinched it tight.

Anakin moaned against his mouth, so sweetly, and Obi-Wan abused the other nub, petting and pulling until Anakin instead whined. Obi-Wan trailed his hand lower then briefly pulled back to just let his eyes linger on his student, to fully realize what Anakin was offering to him. He was so beautiful, toned and healthy and youthful. Obi-Wan felt amazed and struggled to reign in his growing excitement, reminding himself of the circumstances. Remembering that he needed to be delicate, to not hurt his boy. 

When he returned his eyes to Anakin’s, he found him staring at his master with hooded eyes and shiny, swollen lips. Obi-Wan dipped his head and captured those sweet lips as he caressed the decidedly feminine curve of his flank, from his ribs to his sharp hip. He let his fingers linger there, teasingly rubbing along the seam of Anakin’s leggings.

Anakin made a wanting sound and held his breath, his tongue stilling against Obi-Wan’s. Oh, how his master ached to tear off those leggings and swallow his cock without a moment’s hesitation. He continued slowly, though, for Anakin’s sake. He dipped his fingers inside, rolling along the indent of Anakin’s hip. Anakin hummed and tilted his head for a deeper kiss, inviting Obi-Wan closer. Obi-Wan answered his request and leaned into the boy’s body, his hand more daring now as he moved closer to Anakin’s erection.

His own arousal was pressing into Anakin’s other hip, but he did not shift away. He wanted Anakin to feel it, to know the effect he was having on his master. Obi-Wan would not use Anakin for his own pleasure tonight (not directly, at least), but he wanted Anakin to know that he was enjoying this as well. 

He moved his hand lower, mindfully keeping the barrier of Anakin’s underwear between their heated skin. He would lose control of himself if he did not draw things out like this. Softly, he touched Anakin’s cock, needing to swallow his own groan at the _heat_ he felt and the rigid solidity underneath his fingertips. 

Anakin moaned, too, his hips jerking without thought and then he was crying out at the pain of the movement. Obi-Wan pressed him down with the Force and pulled away to give his student some breathing room, watching quietly as Anakin’s chest rose and fell deeply and quickly before the adrenaline faded.

“Are you alright?” Obi-Wan said softly, concern warring with lust. 

“Yeah,” Anakin whispered, the blush on his cheeks most likely the result of embarrassment, now. His cock was still straining against his clothing, but he said, “Can we try again tomorrow?”

“Of course, Anakin,” Obi-Wan answered, moving back, disengaging from the intimate press of his body.

“Wait,” Anakin breathed, tilting his head, and Obi-Wan smiled lightly before leaning down to kiss him once more. Anakin responded with a surprising amount of heat considering his previous words, and Obi-Wan briefly allowed the passionate kiss to continue before putting an end to it.

“Sleep now?” He suggested, somewhat breathless. Anakin grinned crookedly and nodded. 

“Hold me from behind tonight?” He asked quietly. Obi-Wan adjusted their pillows and pushed and pulled Anakin gently until he was lying on his side.

Then, he pulled Anakin back against his body, supporting some of his weight. His back was so warm, and Obi-Wan enveloped him as completely as he could, holding him tight and twining their legs together. He knew that Anakin could feel his erection against his ass, and Obi-Wan murmured,

“Sorry.” 

Anakin hummed, apparently unconcerned, but Obi-Wan watched as his ear turned bright red. Smiling again, and far too happy as he settled closer, Obi-Wan nuzzled at the bare spot behind his ear. Sleep claimed Anakin first, and then Obi-Wan let himself be lulled by his love’s soft, rhythmic breathing.

@@@

He awoke before Anakin did. It was a novel feeling to open his eyes and see Anakin lying beside him, to feel the solid warmth of his body in his arms. Obi-Wan tightened his grip and held Anakin closer, pressing his face against his student’s nape and inhaling deeply. He shivered as he exhaled, his senses rejoicing at such delightful stimuli, the knowledge that he never thought he’d learn.

And why was that, again? Obi-Wan frowned against Anakin’s neck. This body he was currently basking in belonged to his student, a boy compared to him. This was his young apprentice who Obi-Wan was supposed to shape into a fine Jedi, to guide him and instruct him on the ways of the Force. He’d resolved long ago to never take advantage of the power he had over Anakin. Yet, Obi-Wan so easily ignored his own heeding and crossed a boundary with his student. Relationships like these between masters and Padawans were generally forbidden by the Order, for good reason.

“It’s too early for you to be thinking so loudly,” Anakin mumbled sleepily, and Obi-Wan guiltily began to pull away before his student said, “Hold on, don’t go!”

A smile tugged at Obi-Wan’s lips before his regret overshadowed any pleasant feelings inside of him. He moved away and pulled Anakin flat on his back so that they could face each other. He sat up and looked down at Anakin’s upturned face, watching as his student blinked up at him groggily.

“I’m cold,” Anakin complained, and Obi-Wan threw his half of the blanket over Anakin’s form. His student scowled but it was softened by his slow waking. Obi-Wan resisted another smile; Anakin always took some time to reestablish full awareness after waking. “Don’t be annoying. Get back down here.”

“Anakin—”

“Please,” Anakin insisted, his eyes clearing now as he stared up at his master. “C’mon.”

Obi-Wan sighed deeply and moved down, stretching out his body on the bed and pulling back the blanket to press himself against Anakin.

“How many times in my life have I ever heard you say ‘please’? Three, now?” Obi-Wan said as he pulled Anakin into his body. He held Anakin such that they were pressed together chest to chest, hips to hips.

“I just thought it might work,” Anakin whispered cheekily, right into his ear and then blew softly. Obi-Wan shivered and groaned, unable to stop the sound before it escaped, and he couldn’t resist mouthing at Anakin’s neck. His student responded in kind, moaning and tilting his head to give him more room to work. And how could the taste of his dried sweat elicit such desire in Obi-Wan? He barely refrained from grinding his hardening cock into Anakin’s hip, mindful of their limited time alone.

“Panna will be here soon,” he said regretfully as he finally separated his lips from Anakin’s skin. Anakin grunted in annoyance but didn’t say anything. They were both breathing a bit faster, and honestly it was ridiculous to get so worked up so quickly. Obi-Wan blamed it on the fact that neither of them had found release the night before.

He held him for a while longer, softly rubbing at Anakin’s back as his student dozed with his head tucked under his master’s chin. Obi-Wan enjoyed this closeness too much, afraid of how severely it would hurt to give it up. It was more than just the feel of Anakin’s skin. Obi-Wan felt incredibly … warm, and somehow vulnerable in the best possible way. Such a feeling ran deeper than lust, and this was a dangerous truth.

Obi-Wan extracted himself at the last possible moment, dressing them both quickly before Panna arrived. Anakin pouted while Obi-Wan righted his clothing after pulling it on, and Obi-Wan knew he was joking, saying, 

“Do not despair, Anakin. We will not be separated for long.” His student rolled his eyes but didn’t try to hide his smile. Obi-Wan was thankful for the knocking at their door; any moment longer, and he might have crawled right back into bed with his boy.

“How are you feeling, Obi-Wan?” Panna said after her usual perky greeting, taking on a gentle tone as if Obi-Wan were her patient instead. He smiled sheepishly at her; he’d almost forgotten his rude behavior from last night, leaving her abruptly after letting his emotions overcome him. He felt heat rush to his face when he reflected on that action now; he had behaved in a rather un-Jedi like manner. It was made even worse by the fact that Panna was so kind, and that she’d taken him out not for her own gain but out of concern and compassion for Obi-Wan.

“I’m feeling… like myself again. I apologize for how I behaved last night, Panna. You did not deserve—”

“Obi-Wan, stop,” Panna interrupted sharply, and when he hushed she smiled softly at him. “It’s okay. You’re under a lot of stress right now, I get that. And I know what kind of person you truly are. Caring and giving, and good,” she continued kindly. 

The heat drained out of his face. Obi-Wan, good? Yes, he _had been_ a good— perhaps not a good person, but a good Jedi, at least. But after last night, could he still believe that? After last night, after he’d forsaken the Code?

There is no emotion, there is peace.  
There is no passion, there is serenity.

“So don’t worry about it, my friend,” Panna said, thankfully unaware of his inner conflict. 

“Thank you, Panna,” Obi-Wan said graciously, and let his smile drop as she walked to Anakin’s room. He needed to clear his head.

Obi-Wan left his shared quarters and ventured to the Room of a Thousand Fountains, his haven that he escaped to if meditation in other areas of the temple failed to empty his mind. He scanned the room and was relieved to find no one else to share his space with. He sat and stared at one of the fountains, allowing the rushing water to mesmerize him before slipping into meditation.

Long minutes passed as he struggled to find his balance in the Force. Despite being here, in the place where he could always find peace, Obi-Wan could not calm his racing thoughts. He lamented his foolish decision to tempt his student into debauchery, and yet simultaneously he reveled in his new memories of Anakin underneath him. He could also not deny the exhilaration that swept through him as he anticipated making new, more intense memories with his student.

What was wrong with him? Why did Anakin make him feel this way? Obi-Wan sighed and stood to stretch. He knew that Panna would be leaving Anakin shortly, so he began to make his way back to their quarters. No blame could be placed on Anakin, he knew. Obi-Wan had been the one to give into his desires, and he shoved them onto Anakin, his young apprentice who often challenged his master and yet craved his approval, just as Obi-Wan had felt towards Qui-Gon. Had Anakin consented only out of his need to please his master?

Obi-Wan’s stomach was too uneasy for breakfast, he decided. Panna had left before he’d returned. Internally, he was grateful.

“Panna put fresh sheets on my bed this morning,” Anakin said in way of greeting when Obi-Wan walked into his room. He was smiling brightly at his master.

“She is very thoughtful,” Obi-Wan stated, keeping himself by the door, uncertain of his own self-control at the moment. 

“Yes. We’ll just need to change them again before she comes back in the morning,” Anakin replied, his smile turning sly. “What’s with the distance? We’re all alone now.”

“ _That_ fact is why I’m keeping my distance,” Obi-Wan said, and sighed when his student only stared at him blankly. Obi-Wan walked over to the chair, then, and pulled it back further than necessary, sitting down with a good foot of space between himself and the bed. 

“I know I’m poisoned, but am I _contagious_ now, too?” Anakin scoffed, rolling his eyes. 

“Anakin, please listen to what I’m about to say,” Obi-Wan implored seriously, and Anakin huffed but nodded anyway, glancing sidelong at his master. “I shouldn’t have touched you last night, not under these circumstances. I betrayed your trust in me, Anakin, and I’m deeply sorry for my inappropriate actions. I will feel no malice towards you if decide, at any point, to go before the Council and absolve our partnership.”

Curiously, Anakin allowed Obi-Wan to finish speaking without interrupting him. He turned to look fully at his master then after a pause.

“Do you have any idea how dense you are sometimes, Master?” He said, as if speaking to a child. “I don’t think you do. I’m happy about what happened last night, and it has nothing to do with the ‘circumstances.’”

“Anakin—”

“Can’t we talk about this later?” Anakin cut in, apparently through with listening to Obi-Wan’s objections. “When I’ve recovered, we can talk about it then. You offered me something and I have yet to take advantage of that offer.” Anakin grinned cleverly now, as if his master’s concerns were unfounded or at least unimportant. Obi-Wan wanted to shout at him, to make him listen. And at the same time, he wanted—

He wanted.

“I’m tempting the both of us to the dark side,” Obi-Wan argued, but weakly, as if he couldn’t convince even himself. Surely, this path of pleasure would only lead to one place, and yet—

“I don’t feel the pull of the dark side, and I don’t think you do, either. It’s okay as long as we give it up when the time comes, right?” Anakin said, as if it were that easy. Obi-Wan wanted to tell him that this came down to more than just sex, for his master at least. 

Obi-Wan had diligently ignored his inappropriate feelings for his student for months now (and perhaps even longer, if he was honest), knowing they represented an attachment he’d need to sever. And he’d told himself that soon Anakin would be knighted, and that they would drift apart, and he’d never need to truly repent for his own shortcomings.

To indulge himself in this way, to take what he wanted more desperately than he would admit…. Obi-Wan had crossed that line last night, but he stopped himself from stepping forward too far. They could go back if they left it at that, a one-time mistake punctuated by inebriation (on Obi-Wan’s part) and boredom and forced abstinence (on Anakin’s part).

“Does your word mean nothing, Obi-Wan?” Anakin said then, apparently growing tired of his master’s silence. Obi-Wan sighed, and it was a sound of defeat. All of his years of self-control and discipline stood no chance against Anakin, who was offering himself in a way that his master could have never foreseen. Even Obi-Wan was flesh, and the deep-seated areas of his brain demanded intimacy and connection.

He stood and sank one knee into the bed beside of Anakin, reaching out to cradle Anakin’s jaw in his hands. Anakin looked up at him in hopeful wonder, his pupils dilating, his lips parting. Obi-Wan couldn’t stop the groan rumbling in his throat, the divine pleasure of feeling wanted coursing through his veins as he leaned down and sealed his mouth over Anakin’s. He kissed him deeply and slowly, until his student relaxed against the bed and he breathed a pleasant moan against Obi-Wan’s lips. 

Obi-Wan pulled back before the heat could sway him, but shivered at the slick sound of their lips parting. Another confirmation of what he had decided, to give and to take. Would he ever be able to go back? How many possible futures were unattainable now after taking this step?

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin said from beneath him, and his master focused his eyes on him. “Let yourself have this. You deserve to have what you want, after everything you’ve lost.”

Obi-Wan pressed his forehead against Anakin’s, sighing solemnly. He could sense where Anakin’s thoughts had darted to for an instant; his mother. His student had always held resentment against the Council for separating him from her. So, Anakin thought they were both owed something in return for what the Order had taken from them. Obi-Wan did not share that mindset, feeling that the Order had given him more than he deserved in this life.

But, Obi-Wan’s devotion to the Order was not enough to rid him of this longing.

“Anakin, once you have recovered, everything that happens between us now must be forgotten,” Obi-Wan said as he pulled back and made to stand from the bed. He watched his student’s face as he sat back down in the chair, waiting for his reaction. Anakin looked thoughtful for a moment, obviously hearing what his master’s carefully considered words truly meant. 

Neither one would ever forget, but they would act as if it never happened; a dream only seen behind their pairs of eyes. And also—

“‘What happens between us now…’” Anakin repeated in a whisper, smiling slowly. Obi-Wan bit the inside of his cheek to refrain from mirroring the spreading joy and excitement on his student’s face.

“How can you trust my integrity or my judgment if I go back on my word?” Obi-Wan explained. An easy justification, just as Anakin’s had been. Easy but weak against the treachery that was disobeying the Code. Obi-Wan reasoned to himself that he would put an end to this when the time came, no matter what his student would say to convince him that they could continue on this path without destroying their livelihood’s in the process.

Obi-Wan changed the subject abruptly after that, asking if Anakin wanted his master to read him a textbook chapter concerning Herbalism or Intergalactic Politics. Now that he was awake and capable of exercising his mind, at least, they both knew he would not be allowed to just lounge all day as he recovered.

Even if that wasn’t the case, Obi-Wan knew that they certainly could not spend the day rolling around in bed and drowning in sweet debauchery. It would be a completely irresponsible use of time. And it was too risky. 

Anakin seemed to understand this, thankfully.

“Herbalism,” He answered, which surprised his master as he was not particularly fond of that subject.

“I will be verbally testing your knowledge afterwards, Padawan.”

“Ugh, fine, then let’s go with Politics,” Anakin groaned, rolling his eyes. Obi-Wan knew he was just sinking back into his usual role with his master, and so he held his tongue and instead reached for his datapad.

The hours passed slowly. After the readings, Obi-Wan gave Anakin his juice and water and then asked if he wanted to watch HoloTV. 

“Yeah, can you change it to the Technician Times channel?”

Obi-Wan was happy that his student had such a valuable hobby, but remembered that mechanics were not nearly as riveting to him as they were to his student. He sat beside Anakin for a while as the program played, watching some famous mechanic give a thorough review of the engine model found in the Republic’s newest starfighters.

“I can feel how restless you are, Master,” Anakin commented after a few minutes, smiling at Obi-Wan when he glanced at him. “I can spend some time by myself. Why don’t you go enjoy some fresh air for a while?”

Obi-Wan smiled at him and nodded, but made his way to Anakin’s window and opened it first. The breeze was cool and nice against his face, and Anakin hummed pleasantly as the air drafted through the room. Obi-Wan turned to look at him.

“I can take you outside, if you’d like,” he offered. “I’d have to carry you, but—”

“Ah, that’s okay, Master, I’m fine here,” Anakin said quickly, his face heating up. Obi-Wan once again bit his cheek so as not to smile at his student’s embarrassment. He knew his headstrong student would rather stay cooped up for a few days than risk having his peers watch as his master carried him on his back without sign of any grave injury. 

Obi-Wan felt strangely accepting of his fate as he meditated in the Gardens that day. Was it because he knew the struggle was useless now, just an act of self-discipline that crumbled under Anakin’s persuasion? It comforted him to know that at least he was the only one doomed; the Council would not fault his young, naïve Padawan for being taken advantage of by his sinister master.

@@@

Eventually, Panna had returned for her evening shift, and then she had left. The click of the shutting door resonated in Obi-Wan’s eardrum as if a conditioned signal. He walked to Anakin’s room and gave him his juice and water, finding his student’s eyes full of heated, unspoken desire. Obi-Wan wondered if his eyes looked the same.

They were both silent as Obi-Wan maneuvered his student onto his stomach after they performed his exercises. Anakin’s muscles felt very relaxed tonight, and Obi-Wan allowed himself to end their therapy a bit early. When he turned him onto his back, he wasn’t surprised to find his student hard. Anakin stared up at him, his eyes shining with intent.

“Take off your clothes, master.”

He was more confident tonight. Obi-Wan did not deny him, discarding his simple clothing until he was down to his underwear, folding his garments and setting them on the chair. Then, he turned to Anakin.

“Should I do the same for you?”

“Yes,” Anakin said, his face flushing slightly. Obi-Wan bent down and kissed him softly, needing just a taste first, before deftly ridding Anakin of his clothing. This time, Obi-Wan hovered over him completely, wanting to press his skin against Anakin’s and join their bodies, but refrained. How far did Anakin want to go tonight? 

He leaned down and kissed Anakin, deepening their connection quickly because he’d been waiting for this all day. And now he got to have his Anakin all to himself. His possessive thoughts would be troubling if he’d ever have to admit them aloud.

Anakin responded beautifully, sliding his tongue sensually along Obi-Wan’s and sucking on his lips. Already, his breathing was growing heavier, and even Obi-Wan was beginning to drown in the feeling and knowledge of Anakin beneath him. It was as if they were picking up from last night, not willing to pause and recap before moving forward.

“Anakin,” he breathed, just wanting to speak his name and let him hear the longing in his voice. He kissed at his student’s neck and mouthed at his pulse point, feeling the life beneath his veins. “I want to touch you. May I?”

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin breathed, turning his head to nuzzle at his master’s hair. “I need to come so badly.”

Obi-Wan tilted his head and kissed his lips fervently, boldly palming at the boy’s erection with sure fingers. Anakin gasped and moaned, tensing involuntarily, his cock twitching underneath Obi-Wan’s hand.

“Tell me what you want, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said as he drew back to mouth lower, kissing Anakin’s neck. He palmed harder at his erection, teasing his fingers over the head, and Anakin shivered, leaking precum against his touch. The wetness seeped through his underwear.

“Oh,” Anakin breathed, “do anything you want to me, Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan’s heart stuttered just as heat surged to his cock, instantly aching to rut against Anakin’s leg or his stomach and spill over his skin. Just to soothe his demanding lust long enough to stroke and palm and fist Anakin’s cock until he was begging for Obi-Wan to let him come, _just a little more oh Force please_. And then he’d lay down between his student’s legs and suck the cum from his cock before thoroughly licking Anakin clean, tonguing his slit until the boy was shaking and crying.

Obi-Wan pulled back and looked into Anakin’s eyes, serious.

“This isn’t about what _I_ want, Anakin. You need to tell me what to do.”

His young, tender Anakin was not ready for such desires. 

His student scowled and looked away from him, huffing. Obi-Wan kept perfectly still above him and waited for any other response, feeling as if he’d ruined the mood with his unexpected resistance to Anakin’s suggestion.

“You’re being incredibly frustrating right now, Master,” Anakin said, still looking away. Obi-Wan immediately removed his hand from his student’s cock at the sound of the title and scoffed, moving to the side of the bed so he could sit and stare down at him.

“Why?” He inquired seriously, perplexed. He was basically giving Anakin full control of the situation, offering his body to please his student in any way he desired. And yet Anakin’s behavior suggested that he wanted Obi-Wan to take control…

“I’m not made of glass,” Anakin answered, finally meeting his eyes with a hard gaze. “And I’m capable of making my own decisions about what I do with my body, even when I can’t use it.”

“Anakin…” Obi-Wan murmured, surprised at his student’s impassioned words. “I know that, I just—”

“You just want me to feel comfortable, yeah, I get that,” Anakin interrupted, sighing, “but you said you’d get me off, and I’m telling you how to do it.”

Obi-Wan pursed his lips and looked down at his student’s feet, trying to find his resolve. But then his eyes swept up the length of Anakin’s long, toned legs and over the obscene outline of the boy’s cock through his thin underwear and then finally settled on the expanse of his smooth torso. And he knew that if Anakin asked again, if he added a soft _please_ to his request, Obi-Wan would cast aside all of his morals.

“Bring down your shields,” he said as he finally tore his eyes away from his student’s too tempting body, catching his gaze. “You’ve kept everything hidden from me ever since— hidden from me for a few days now.”

Anakin seemed to consider this for a moment before he lowered his eyelashes at his master, giving him a sultry look as he replied,

“I’m not sure you’re ready to see all the dirty things I’m thinking right now.” Anakin smirked. “You’d probably call me disgusting.”

Obi-Wan promptly leaned down and kissed his lips, ravishing Anakin’s mouth thoroughly, until his student was moaning sweetly into his mouth. His master was too keyed up now, Anakin’s words compounding the pleasurable but maddening ache in his groin. What he would give to be able to fulfill every one of Anakin’s lustful little fantasies.

“Let me in,” Obi-Wan murmured against his cheek as he snaked a hand down to his student’s cock, rubbing his palm from root to tip teasingly before taking his hand away. “Don’t you want me to touch you?”

“Bastard,” Anakin groaned, rolling his head against the pillows. Obi-Wan flicked his tongue over his earlobe and then suckled the sensitive skin between his lips. “You drive me insane,” his student said, turning his head and capturing Obi-Wan’s mouth.

“Likewise,” Obi-Wan replied dryly when they pulled apart. Anakin sighed deeply and shut his eyes, apparently focusing, and Obi-Wan leaned away and let him look within himself without distraction. After a moment, Obi-Wan felt the sudden strength of their connection and slowly, he became aware of some of Anakin’s thoughts and feelings.

Obi-Wan closed his eyes, too, feeling the waves of emotion and desire resonate through the Force within him, driving his own arousal higher, oh it was— 

“ _Anakin_ ,” he breathed, unable to bear the separation of their bodies any longer, nearly throwing himself on top of his student as he kissed his mouth once again. Anakin moaned, needing his touch just as badly and Obi-Wan knew that now, certain that Anakin wanted this. He could feel what his student wanted— to be taken apart by his master’s touch. Desperately, he pressed his body flush against Anakin’s, grinding their hips together.

“Oh fuck,” Anakin gasped against his mouth, throwing his head back. “Force, yes, yes, _Obi-Wan_.” His master growled against his throat and rocked harder against his body, increasing the sweet friction, heightening their pleasure and their need. Oh, this felt so good. How could he fall so easily into Anakin when they’d never done this before? He knew this body already though, had seen it dripping with droplets of a Dantooine lake on one mission not so long ago, the rising sun a stark contrast behind his back, and Obi-Wan had realized that his Anakin was no longer a child to him. 

Obi-Wan reached his hand up and gripped Anakin’s jaw, pulling him forward and kissing his lips, needing that extra connection, the addictive slide of their tongues.

Obi-Wan lost himself in the feel of Anakin’s body, and in the sounds of Anakin’s gratifying moans, in the taste of his mouth. He was drowning, and a tiny voice in his head told him he couldn’t let this happen. But he already had let it happen. He was going to give Anakin everything he needed.

“Keep moving like that,” Anakin said breathlessly when they pulled apart for air, “Fuck I’m so on edge right now, I’ll come if you keep doing that.”

“Mmm,” Obi-Wan hummed in interest. That was exactly what they both wanted, and yet Obi-Wan was on edge himself, and his usual discipline was making way for his heady desire. He moved back up onto his knees, instantly missing the heat of Anakin’s skin yet his student’s resulting whine sent a pleasant shiver through him. He eyed Anakin’s cock, straining lewdly against his underwear, a large wet spot seeping through the fabric covering his cockhead.

He peeled the underwear off hastily, using the Force to move Anakin’s hips and legs to slide them off. Anakin hummed excitedly, and Obi-Wan savored the moment, seeing his erect cock for the first time and nearly disbelieving the fact that Anakin was hard for his stuffy old master. His cock was beautiful, long and flushed pink and glistening at the tip, precum already pooling against his lower stomach where it laid, waiting for Obi-Wan’s hand or mouth. He wanted to swallow it and feel the thick weight of Anakin’s desire in his throat, but he had enough sensibility to start slow.

“Ah, nn,” Anakin moaned when his master wrapped a hand around his shaft, and Obi-Wan was mindful to press his hips down with his free hand in case the boy tried to move without thinking. Slowly, Obi-Wan stroked him once, biting his lip at the bead of precum oozing from the slit at just that light touch. He ran his fingers across his weeping cockhead and smeared Anakin’s precum all down his shaft, realizing that they wouldn’t need any extra lubricant tonight.

“Stars, Anakin, do you always get so wet?” Obi-Wan said, watching as more fluid drooled from the tip. Anakin moaned, his eyes squeezed shut, his head digging back into his pillow. He didn’t answer, perhaps overwhelmed. “Tell me how you touch yourself,” Obi-Wan said then, and if Anakin asked he would say that he just wanted to take care of his need as thoroughly as possible. But really he just wanted to know, to better his fantasies when he was alone at night.

“Mmm, I use both hands,” Anakin breathed, forcing his eyes open to look at Obi-Wan’s hand on his cock. Obi-Wan smirked, a jolt of desire nearly destroying all of his inhibitions, but he reigned himself in and lifted his other hand from Anakin’s hip, using the Force instead to weigh him down. He stroked Anakin’s shaft with one hand and rolled his balls between the fingers of his other hand.

“Like this?” Obi-Wan asked.

“Lower,” Anakin whispered, licking his plump bottom lip. Obi-Wan bit his own lip, wishing it was Anakin’s between his teeth, and looked down as he moved his hand and pressed a knuckle against the sensitive perineum underneath his balls.

“Here?”

“Oh,” Anakin moaned, his eyes rolling back. Obi-Wan decreased the pressure before pushing again, and then again, until Anakin was whimpering. “Nn, I think I _should_ start doing that.” He looked at Obi-Wan’s eyes and whispered, “But no. Lower.”

Obi-Wan exhaled a deep breath he’d been holding, and he pulled his hands away completely. Anakin began to protest, but his master quickly moved to grip Anakin underneath his knees and then he pushed them against the bed, opening his legs wide and giving himself access to all of Anakin’s private places. Then, he held him still like that with the Force (and was too far gone to feel guilty for the misuse), before getting his hand back on Anakin’s cock. Obi-Wan rubbed his other fingers against his hole, slick with Anakin’s copious amounts of precum.

“This is how you pleasure yourself, Anakin?” He asked quietly, entranced as he pumped Anakin’s cock and pressed against his hole. Oh, he wanted to take him. He wanted to fuck Anakin with abandon and forget all the reasons why he shouldn’t. If Anakin asked for it… “How many fingers do you put inside yourself?”

“Hah,” Anakin gasped, his eyes rolling back as Obi-Wan swirled his thumb over and over again against his sensitive frenulum, more slick pulsing from his cockhead. “Usually t-two… nn, sometimes three,” he huffed, his eyes dazed when they met Obi-Wan’s. “But you can put your whole hand inside if you’d like.”

Obi-Wan wasn’t sure if the image that appeared before his eyes was born of his mind or from Anakin’s, their Force signatures entwining and erasing the boundaries between them, but he nearly fell over that edge as he saw Anakin coming all across his stomach with Obi-Wan’s fist locked inside his hole. And if he’d asked for it directly, Obi-Wan may have inserted his fingers one by one until his wrist was squeezed tight by Anakin’s abused rim, but for now he eased in one finger up to the second knuckle.

“Yes, _yes_ , ohh…” Anakin moaned, his cock pulsing in Obi-Wan’s hand, and his master wanted to go slow but Anakin wanted to be wrecked. So Obi-Wan quickly inserted a second finger and pressed inside until they were engulfed completely. Anakin whimpered and squeezed his walls around his digits, as if trying to pull them deeper.

“Oh Anakin, I—” Obi-Wan started but then bit his lip, his balls drawing up tightly as he nearly came from just the feel of his student around his fingers, so hot and smooth and tight inside. He wanted nothing more than to sink his aching cock inside of that perfect hole and pump Anakin full of his seed.

“Fuck me,” Anakin breathed, knowing Obi-Wan’s thoughts because they were one now, and his master knew he wanted his cock, but instead he started pumping his fingers. To fuck him with his cock would be too much now; Obi-Wan could feel how close he was. He pressed his fingers upwards and rubbed the pads hard against Anakin’s prostate, reveling in the pulse of pleasure shooting through his student at the stimulation. He fucked Anakin measuredly with his fingers, establishing a steady rhythm as he pumped his cock, lavishing attention to his sensitive cockhead on every upstroke.

Anakin was lost, moaning lowly as Obi-Wan took him apart. His master only needed to press his clothed cock against his hip to reach that edge himself, but he resisted, reminding himself ‘this is only for Anakin.’ Even if it was a lie. He spread his fingers inside of his hole, stretching him wider before increasing the pace of his arm. Anakin whined, his cock spilling so much precum now, drenching Obi-Wan’s hand as he stroked him faster and faster.

“I want to see you come, Anakin,” he breathed lowly, his eyes darting back and forth between Anakin’s pleasure-stricken face and his twitching cock in his hand. His student was unfairly beautiful like this; his sinewy, lean body, his open expression, the unabashed sounds leaving his swollen lips. 

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin sobbed, thrashing his head back, gritting his teeth as his body tensed. “Ah, ohhh—” He groaned, his cock pulsing hard in Obi-Wan’s hand before the first spurt of cum shot onto his own chest, nearly hitting his chin with the force of his release. Obi-Wan bit his tongue hard, his own dick pulsing miserably with want, and stilled his fingers but kept them inside to give Anakin something to clench around as he emptied his balls across his stomach. Anakin moaned through all of it, his head rolling against the pillow. Obi-Wan stroked his cock until the last dribble of cum kissed his fingers, and then he gently laid Anakin’s softening length against his stomach.

Obi-Wan leaned down and kissed Anakin fiercely, and his boy moaned softly against his lips, blissed out.

“Come on me,” he whispered when Obi-Wan pulled back.

“Shh, wait here for a moment,” Obi-Wan said, wanting desperately to indulge himself but also not wanting to use Anakin’s prone body for his own pleasure. He stood from the bed and gently hushed his student again when he whined.

When he stepped into the refresher and stood over the toilet, easing his underwear down just enough to free his swollen cock, it took only the slightest touch of his hand on himself before he was spilling, shaking and gasping with the intensity. 

Obi-Wan stood and just breathed for a long moment, enjoying the buzz of his release but not completely satisfied. If only the circumstances were different, he’d go back into Anakin’s room and flip him onto his stomach before entering him without inhibition, fucking him until they gloriously fell from that edge together.

Composing himself, Obi-Wan found a washcloth and wetted it before returning to Anakin’s side. Anakin was pouting, apparently displeased that his master had taken care of himself away from his student’s eyes, but he only sighed softly when Obi-Wan ran the washcloth over his soft cock and torso, and then across his rim.

“Have you ever been with a man before?” Obi-Wan asked gently when they were wrapped around each other later in the bed, keeping his words delicate and knowing Anakin would understand his meaning.

“…No,” Anakin admitted after the truth had already crossed through their bond. “But I’m ready…. Tomorrow, I want you to fuck me.”

“Not like this,” Obi-Wan insisted, upset with himself for not asking Anakin this question before ever touching him. He nuzzled his face into Anakin’s short hair. “Your first time shouldn’t… you should be able to participate fully for that. Do you understand?”

“But you said…” Anakin began but then trailed off, huffing against his master’s chest. Obi-Wan waited for him to continue, but he knew already what he would say. “Will you still touch me even when I’ve recovered?”

Obi-Wan was silent for a long moment, collecting his thoughts and not allowing them to be known to his student. He’d be lying if he hadn’t briefly imagined their life as secret lovers, once this poison had diminished completely. Right now, Obi-Wan could claim that he was just fulfilling his duty as a caretaker (of course, many would laugh or be outraged at such an excuse), but once Anakin could take care of himself again… there would be no excuses. Only the truth that Obi-Wan wanted him desperately and would give up his honor to call Anakin his lover. Obi-Wan would be exiled if caught with his Padawan, but Anakin would also face punishment if they allowed their forbidden relationship to continue after his knighting. 

Could he put Anakin in such danger? He was so young, and had such a bright future ahead of him as a Jedi. Surely, such pleasure (even pleasure as sweet as this) was not worth the risk.

He could feel Anakin’s growing anxiety the longer Obi-Wan considered his question, so finally he said,

“I don’t know, Anakin. Don’t mistake my words; I want to continue this once you’re fully well, but the Order does not usually approve of romantic relationships between master and Padawan. We will need to carefully consider our actions when that time comes.”

He felt profoundly guilty as he lied so easily to his student. Obi-Wan had no intention of letting this continue much longer. How could he even entertain such wishful fantasies?

“…Okay,” Anakin said quietly, unsatisfied with the answer but not pushing it. He was exhausted, Obi-Wan knew. Obi-Wan closed his eyes and began to drift asleep when Anakin said, “Can we talk for a little bit?”

“What would you like to talk about?” Obi-Wan answered around a yawn. He stroked his fingers in circles against Anakin’s back.

“I want to hear more about your days as a Padawan.”

Obi-Wan smiled against his hair, unsurprised by the choice of topic. Perhaps Obi-Wan truly was an adequate storyteller, as his friends liked to tell him.

They talked for what felt like hours, the topic shifting as Anakin thought of new questions to ask about his master. Despite their frequent time together over the last decade, it seemed that there were many things his student did not know about Obi-Wan. And his master realized that he had much to learn about Anakin as well, and he asked him about his friends, his favorite missions he’d completed, which planets he would like to return to. They were open books to each other, for the moment.

After a comfortable lull in the conversation, as Obi-Wan began to doze, Anakin softly said,

“I really like this.” Obi-Wan did not reply. They fell asleep minutes later, both of them desperately trying to enjoy their time together now, despite what would lay ahead.

@@@

“G’morning,” Anakin mumbled when Obi-Wan woke him the next day. “Look,” he said when Obi-Wan returned after fetching breakfast for himself and juice for Anakin. His student lifted his arm, and instead of crying out in pain, his face remained neutral, even as his arm shook violently in the air.

“The pain is gone?” Obi-Wan inquired.

“Moving doesn’t feel great, but it doesn’t hurt anymore,” Anakin reported, laying his arms in his lap and watching his fingers spasm as he tried to ball up his fists. 

“This is a good sign. You should be your normal self again soon enough,” Obi-Wan said optimistically, even as he selfishly hoped that they would have at least a few more days together.

Obi-Wan was called before the Council that morning. An irrational worry settled on his mind; did they somehow know about his tryst with Anakin? There was almost no way they could be aware of that so soon, and yet he was unsure of another reason they’d be summoning him.

“The negotiations with the Iridonian Elders continue to be unsuccessful,” Windu explained as Obi-Wan stood before them. Gravely, he said, “Iridonia is one of our main sources of fuel needed for our fusion reactors; the Elders have threatened to cut off our supply if we do not increase their pay for the fuel. The amount they are asking for is frankly ludicrous. If we do not settle this dispute soon, we will be running dangerously low on our most efficient fuel.”

Obi-Wan knew what this meant. Dread settled like a stone in his stomach.

“Our most skilled negotiator you are, Obi-Wan,” Yoda said. “Travel to Iridonia you will, and come to an agreement with their Elders.”

Obi-Wan opened his mouth to inquire about Anakin as he was away, but Windu hastily said,

“Temple Healer Panna has already agreed to provide Skywalker with all of his care until your return.” Obi-Wan bit his lip, unhappy with this assignment but having enough sense to not behave insubordinately. This was his duty as a Jedi Knight; he had no other choice.

He agreed to the mission and was told he’d be leaving in two hours. He was dismissed.

How long would these negotiations take? No matter how experienced Obi-Wan was in convincing others in the Republic’s favor, he could never predict how long the back-and-forth would take. Sometimes, it only took a bit of intuition and insight into the Force, and other times he’d been reduced to engaging in days-long battles of stubborn unwillingness to back down.

Anakin was recovering quickly. By the time Obi-Wan returned, there was a good chance his student would be completely healed. No longer requiring Obi-Wan’s care, or his body lying at his side in his bed as they slept at night, dreamless and peaceful.

Obi-Wan wasn’t willing to acknowledge his poor judgment— how vastly he’d overestimated his ability to give up this new facet of their relationship once he’d lived it. What had he been thinking?

No, there was no time for remorse right now. His time with Anakin was dwindling more quickly than he’d anticipated. 

“What did they—” Anakin began to say when Obi-Wan entered his room, but his master didn’t let him finish as he climbed into bed on top of him and pressed their mouths together, kissing him fervently as if starved for his touch. And he was, because he hadn’t gotten enough, he’d never be satisfied, he wanted— “Obi-Wan,” Anakin gasped against his mouth, breathless and confused.

“They’re sending me on a negotiations mission,” Obi-Wan explained with a resentful edge to his voice. He tucked his head against Anakin’s neck and inhaled deeply. Force, he would never get enough. “I’m leaving in two hours.”

“No,” Anakin protested, but it was half-hearted because he knew he lacked any power in this situation. And as soon as he realized that, he understood Obi-Wan, too. “You should take me right now,” he said as he looked intently at Obi-Wan. “We might not get another chance.”

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan breathed sadly, wishing he could give him what he wanted. He wouldn’t let Anakin’s memory of his first time be characterized by a nearly complete lack of motor control. He projected his resolve into Anakin’s mind as he kissed him again, discontent with wasting time on talking or arguing, choosing instead to start pulling off his student’s clothes.

Anakin was resistant at first but soon realized that he could only have what his master would give him, and so he relented, opening his mouth for Obi-Wan and returning his kiss heatedly. They fell into a heady trance of desire and sensation, a litany of moans falling from Anakin’s lips as Obi-Wan touched and tasted. 

The living Force surrounding them and within them was electric and heavy. Obi-Wan worshipped Anakin’s body, mouthing at his bare skin and moving lower, his length throbbing at each of his student’s vocal groans and gasps.

Obi-Wan swallowed Anakin’s cock with a pleased moan, finally taking what he’d wanted for so long, the taste of his student’s precum flowing over his tongue, the heavy weight of his prick pressing and filling. There was no pretense of delicacy or hesitation now as he bobbed his head and sucked Anakin deep into his throat, swallowing again and again as Anakin swore and groaned and whined.

They were both insatiable. Obi-Wan released Anakin’s cock from his mouth with an obscene pop of suction and gripped his thighs, pushing them up until Anakin’s legs were folded against his chest and his lower back was touching air instead of the bed. 

“Oh please, please, Obi-Wan,” Anakin keened, gasping when his master kissed his sack wetly before his hot breath was washing over Anakin’s hole. He needn’t have begged; Obi-Wan wanted this just as badly. He pressed his mouth against Anakin’s hole and licked into him, sharpening his tongue and pushing past his rom. “Fuck!” Anakin nearly screamed, his body trembling as he tried to push his hips into Obi-Wan’s face but his master held him still as he ate his twitching hole.

He fucked Anakin with his tongue using slow, deep strokes, groaning against his skin when he felt his rim relax completely, inviting Obi-Wan to do as he pleased. Opening up so perfectly for him, Anakin’s hole wet with saliva and soft with his master’s oral attention. Oh, he felt like he could slip his cock inside right now, slick himself up with Anakin’s precum and press forward slowly, feel that tight heat engulf him inch by inch.

He ignored his need, the demanding ache of his cock trapped inside his leggings, and let himself instead revel in the sounds of Anakin’s constant whimpering and moaning. His student was drawing tight and ready to unravel, getting off beautifully on Obi-Wan’s tongue-fucking, and his master would ordinarily have loved to make him come just from this, to listen to him beg for a hand on his cock but to then prove to him that this was all he needed.

But there was something he wanted even more right now, something he might never have if he didn’t act on it now. He pulled away from Anakin’s swollen, sopping wet hole and watched it flutter as if missing his touch and wanting again to be filled, and it took all of his willpower not to just take out his cock and insert it and take Anakin just once. To know what it felt like to be connected so fully to the person he adored more than anyone else in this galaxy, just once, so that he may never again wonder or want.

Who was he fooling? He would always want.

“Don’t stop,” Anakin groaned, “I’m so fucking close, oh please.”

“I’ve got you, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said softly, gently lowering Anakin’s hips back down on the bed and looking up at his face. Anakin’s eyes were wet with overwhelmed tears, his lower lip plump and red from his teeth. As always, he was absolutely breathtaking. Obi-Wan leaned down and swallowed his cock, drooling obscenely, softly knuckling Anakin’s balls and encouraging him to come.

“Nnn, ah, fuck that feels fucking good,” Anakin said desperately, “Don’t stop, don’t stop oh Obi-Wan please—”

Obi-Wan sunk all the way down, and his student made a shocked, wounded sound, his dick pulsing in Obi-Wan’s throat. His master shut his eyes and pulled up just enough to catch his cum on his taste buds, moving his hand to stroke Anakin’s shaft as he emptied inside of his mouth. The taste of his pleasure was deeply arousing, but what was more intoxicating was Anakin’s euphoria, the visceral high only reached when one’s most primal desire is satisfied for one glorious moment. Obi-Wan could feel it intimately, intensely, through their bond, and he thought briefly as he was swallowing the warm semen on his tongue that he’d also found that nirvana.

“Obi-Wan,” he heard Anakin sigh heavily a moment later, and Obi-Wan slowly eased off of his softening cock before raising his head to look at his student. Anakin’s dazed smile greeted him. “That was _amazing_.”

The tug of need in Obi-Wan’s cock asserted that no, he hadn’t fallen over that edge despite the intense pleasure he felt, and Anakin’s praise shouldn’t have been so erotic but Obi-Wan _wanted_. This time, he was going to have, he was going to _take_ —

“Come up here and let me touch you,” Anakin said softly, missing the spark of frenzied lust in Obi-Wan that was becoming increasingly harder to snuff out. His voice steadied Obi-Wan briefly, at least, and he raised back up on his knees and breathed deeply, wiping at his wet lips. His cock pressed pitifully against his leggings, aching and swollen.

He shifted as if to leave again to the ‘fresher, but Anakin said,

“That’s selfish.”

Obi-Wan paused and stared at him.

“How is it selfish?”

“Because you’ve seen me at my most vulnerable, and yet refuse to show yourself like that to me,” he posited. Obi-Wan nearly scoffed and told him that he was being melodramatic. But he realized that perhaps Anakin was right in a way; he was denying Anakin this because he could, because it was easy for him to just walk away, knowing his student couldn’t follow him.

He sighed heavily. 

“Let me see you, Obi-Wan,” Anakin said, smiling because he knew he was victorious. His master glanced around the room, looking pointedly to the light pouring through the windows. The blinds were drawn and yet the room was bright, and suddenly he felt self-conscious here with Anakin, their bodies so easily comparable so close together. 

Compared to his lithe student, still in the prime of his youth, Obi-Wan’s body was softer and not eye-catching like Anakin’s. His muscles were there, of course, but the definition was not. Age did not care for beauty.

“Your body is the only one I want on top of mine,” Anakin said, genuine, hearing his master’s thoughts before they were silenced. “Don’t you have any idea how much I want you?”

Obi-Wan closed his eyes, feeling the sting of tears even as warmth spread throughout his chest. What was this feeling? A joyous song of agony, a euphoric woe, catharsis. A swell of affection only for Anakin. Obi-Wan would never feel like this again for anyone else, no one else. 

He surged forward, covering Anakin’s body like his student was a Sun and he was but a ship that flew too close, and he hugged him, his Anakin, close to his body. And he wished, ‘Let me always remember this, so that I may think of this moment afterwards and feel a fraction of what I feel now.’

Obi-Wan tightened his arms around Anakin for just a moment, feeling his breath on his neck, and the moment dragged on because he didn’t want it to end. Finally, he pulled back and tugged his tunic over his head and let it fall to the floor. Then, he took his student’s hand in his own and pressed his palm to his chest, the only thing separating Anakin’s hand and Obi-Wan’s heart a few layers of flesh and blood and ribcage. 

“Do you feel that?” He asked quietly, a whisper, his heart thudding hard beneath their fingers. Anakin swallowed thickly and nodded, his eyes glued to where his master’s hand was covering his. “You overwhelm me, and yet… I feel incredibly content and overjoyed.”

‘I don’t want to give this up,’ Obi-Wan thought, but would not let that be known to his student. 

Anakin grinned at him, happy, and then his face shifted into a smirk as he trailed his eyes down Obi-Wan’s body. “I don’t think you’re quite content, yet, Obi-Wan,” he observed, staring pointedly at his master’s cock in his leggings, still hard and wanting.

Obi-Wan nearly groaned as he was reminded of his persistent arousal, and his wavering confidence was suddenly meaningless as his body realized that the object of his desire was touching him right now, and so easily he could be touching him where he needed it.

“Anakin,” he breathed, loving his name, loving this boy, this brilliant young man who he just couldn’t seem to resist. 

“Let me see you, Obi-Wan,” Anakin repeated, his eyes burning. Obi-Wan rested his student’s hand down against the bed before swiftly pulling his remaining garments down to his knees, too impatient for anything more, and his cock sprung free, swollen and red and wet at the tip with eager anticipation. Anakin bit his lip, his soft cock twitching against his thigh as he drunk in the sight of his master bare and needy before him.

“You’re killing me,” Obi-Wan groaned, the look of open hunger on his student’s face nearly forcing him to come untouched. He took hold of Anakin’s hand again and couldn’t wait to ask if this was alright. He knew, he could feel that Anakin wanted this just as much, somehow. He brought his student’s palm to his mouth and licked it messily until Anakin was whimpering and his hand was wet and slick.

He looked into Anakin’s eyes as he brought their hands to his cock, Obi-Wan’s mouth falling open in wordless pleasure at the first touch. Anakin moaned excitedly, his eyes darting back and forth between Obi-Wan’s eyes and his cock in their combined grip.

“Force, feels like your dick is burning up,” he breathed as if in awe, as if he didn’t know exactly how he made Obi-Wan’s blood burn with passion. Obi-Wan would have chuckled if he wasn’t too busy getting off, groaning luridly as he squeezed Anakin’s hand around his cock. It was too much, too intense after having been on edge for a seeming eternity, too good after knowing only his own touch for so long. 

He stroked Anakin’s hand up on his cock, squeezing their fingers over his cockhead, groaning and shaking, and then slid their hands down, pumping his cock once and then he was crying out. 

“Ahh, Anakin,” he moaned, his cock pulsing and shooting, painting Anakin’s chest and stomach with his release. He rocked his hips and nearly sobbed, the pleasure so good it was almost too good, as if ripped from his very soul, leaving him raw and tender. Finally, the last spurt of cum dribbled from his slit and he let their hands fall away, nearly collapsing on top of his student but catching himself on his elbows.

Together, they breathed in tandem.

“It’s better with another person, huh, Obi-Wan?” Anakin rasped teasingly then, the wicked brat, and Obi-Wan couldn’t help but smile, dazed. He looked up at Anakin through his fringe and leaned forward to nuzzle at the crook of his neck.

“Thank you,” he said quietly when he moved back, and Anakin scoffed.

“I wanted it too, y’know,” he reaffirmed, rubbing his cheek against Obi-Wan’s hair.

Obi-Wan hummed and drowned in Anakin’s affection for a short, perfect while before he remembered their time limit and made himself leave the bed. Anakin made a displeased noise but otherwise kept quiet, knowing he couldn’t ask Obi-Wan to stay. His master went to the refresher and returned quickly with a warm washcloth.

Obi-Wan perversely admired the sight of his release on Anakin’s body before soon realizing that the boy was plump and hard again against his stomach. 

“Do you want—”

“No,” Anakin said softly with a smile. “We only have a little time left. I want you to lay with me.”

Obi-Wan checked the time and figured that if he showered quickly and ate his meal on the cruiser he’d be able to stay another half hour. He retrieved his tunic from the floor where he’d hastily thrown it, and Anakin said,

“We can get dressed right before you go, don’t you think?”

Obi-Wan smiled and shook his head fondly, moving to join Anakin in bed. Before he laid down, he leaned forward and pressed his mouth to Anakin’s. His boy moaned softly and parted his sweet lips for him, and Obi-Wan kissed him deeply for a moment before he felt his student smiling. 

“You washed your mouth,” Anakin said, amused, when Obi-Wan pulled back curiously.

“Yes,” Obi-Wan responded blankly, not understanding Anakin’s humor. Anakin chuckled and rolled his eyes, grinning. “So what?” Obi-Wan said then.

“I just never knew— I mean I’d pictured it, but I never felt certain…” Anakin trailed off, his smile turning shy as he looked away. Obi-Wan waited patiently for him to continue. 

“What have you pictured, Anakin?” Obi-Wan gently nudged when his student was silent for a long moment.

“What you would be like… like this,” Anakin tried to elaborate, finding the words as he spoke. “You know, as a— lover.”

Anakin wasn’t looking at his face but Obi-Wan figured that he could feel the spike in Obi-Wan’s emotions at the word. Such an intimate title. Not _partner_ , the more ambiguous of the terms. No, _lover_ implied a close connection, one that ran deeper than what a master and Padawan should have.

And then, he processed the meaning of Anakin’s words. _I’d pictured you as a lover_ , he was saying.

“When?” Obi-Wan asked, and then added, “For how long?” And then he bit his tongue but was too late. It didn’t matter how long Anakin had wanted him— No, it did matter, because such knowledge would surely only fuel Obi-Wan’s perverse, idle musings late at night when he couldn’t sleep. 

“I’ve wondered for years, Master— ah, Obi-Wan,” Anakin amended, also too late. Obi-Wan groaned in existential agony as he finally moved off of Anakin and laid down beside him on the bed. Anakin chuckled nervously and continued, “I never thought you’d actually… touch me, I mean I knew when I was just a dumb teenager that you wouldn’t even consider it.”

Obi-Wan shut his eyes tight. And where would he have drawn the line? If Anakin had sneaked into his bed at the age of 17 and palmed at his cock while wearing that sly little smirk of his, would Obi-Wan have resisted? Would he have given in? And if yes at 17, then what about 16? 15? Obi-Wan felt tears press against his eyelids and he turned his head to the side so Anakin couldn’t see.

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin said softly against his ear. “It’s okay. I’m not a kid any more. Things are different now.”

And they would never be the same. Obi-Wan sat up and rubbed at his eyes. Crying now would only leave Anakin feeling hurt and confused while he was away. He leaned over Anakin once more and kissed his lips softly, lingering, and he gasped when Anakin’s shaking hands came up to cradle his jaw. His student’s cold fingers trembled against his skin.

“We’re not finished yet,” Anakin breathed against his mouth, his eyes searching Obi-Wan’s. “Come back soon, okay?” And Obi-Wan wanted to confess his feelings, so that they may finally see the light and maybe Anakin would shine beneath him and repeat those words. That forbidden longing for comfort and warmth and acceptance, fulfilled.

“Okay,” is what he said instead and then took Anakin into his arms. He departed not ten minutes later, his boots heavy as lead every time he lifted his feet.


	5. Chapter 5

The Zabrakian Elders of Iridonia were known for their arrogance and thick skulls, and Obi-Wan had visited their council chambers many times over the last few years. Their planet was one of only a few of those in this galaxy containing vast reserves of the Order’s preferred fuel, and they leveraged this fact every chance they got.

“We know the reserves on Jeyell are drying up, and soon we will be your main supplier. It’s just business, Master Kenobi,” Elder Tyrrin said, sitting in the middle of the ring of eight Elders and stroking his long, dark beard.

“Supply and demand,” Elder Kamran asserted from the right, smirking and squinting like a skeevy rodent. Obi-Wan was not fond of this one; all decisions by the Elders were required to be unanimous, and Kamran took great delight in refusing most of the offers from the Jedi.

“And the Republic agrees that you should be paid fairly,” Obi-Wan said, “However, we cannot accept the figures you have proposed. Asking for 50 credits per unit is more than double what we currently pay, and quite simply, we cannot afford that price. We can—”

“‘Quite simply,’ Master Jedi, we know what our fuel is worth and we won’t accept anything less,” Kamran cut in, looking inappropriately excited at the prospect. Obi-Wan scoffed.

“Let him speak, Elder Kamran,” Elder Nikla said, and Obi-Wan smiled gratefully at her. She was the wisest of the Elders, and therefore usually the most receptive to the Order’s offers.

“Thank you, Elder Nikla. We can offer you 30 credits per unit, and—” Obi-Wan held up his finger when Kamran began to protest— “We can send 150 Jedi to assist in rebuilding your Oncero district. They would be stationed here for three months.”

The Elders were silent for a long moment, considering. Their Oncero district had been recently bombed during an invasion of pirates looking to fuel up without paying. The only reason the Republic had yet to send aid for rebuilding was due to these unsuccessful negotiations and Iridonia’s refusal to sell to them.

The proceedings continued for another half hour without much budging from either side, and finally Tyrrin said,

“It’s obvious we won’t be coming to a decision today; let’s meet again in the morning.” Obi-Wan was careful to not let his annoyance show; he’d hoped this issue would be resolved today but matters such as these seldom worked out so fortunately.

He was being boarded without charge during his stay, sleeping in an extra bedroom in a local family’s house. The family was kind, two mothers and one young son. They insisted he eat dinner with them that evening, and he politely accepted the offer. He tried to keep his mind focused on the conversation as they ate, but his thoughts kept straying to an hourglass sand timer in his mind’s eye that told him, “Your time with Anakin is running out.”

The next day, negotiations continued much the same.

“We can give you 35 per unit, but we absolutely cannot go any higher,” Obi-Wan said after over an hour of little progress.

“That’s too bad, because we will not accept anything short of 45,” Kamran countered, that insufferable grin stretched over his thin lips ever present.

“This is a fair offer, my friends. 35 per unit and 150 Jedi for three months is far more generous than we usually can provide,” Obi-Wan insisted. He only needed to convince Kamran and his quiet allies, Holce and Vana, at this point; he sensed that the other Elders felt pleased with 35.

“I think that if we just wait a few weeks, when your current supply dwindles to near nothing, we’ll be receiving an even more generous offer,” Kamran sneered.

“The Republic is our ally,” Nikla interjected, staring critically at Kamran. “We cannot act on such a _malicious_ proposal.”

“I agree,” Holce said in a rough voice. “But I also agree that 35 is not enough.”

The minutes passed painful and slow. Kamran at some point somehow swayed many of the other Elders and now Obi-Wan could feel their growing agitation as he continued to politely and evenly assert that they were being given a fantastic deal for x and x reasons. 

“Well, I think we should be able to settle on a compromise at some point,” Tyrrin sighed, “but once again, today will not be that day.”

Dread gripped Obi-Wan’s heart. Another night here, possibly two, away from Anakin? 

“I can offer you 40 per unit,” Obi-Wan said quickly before Tyrrin adjourned. The Elders looked at each other with raised brows. “40 credits per unit, and 150 Jedi for three months,” Obi-Wan finished, feeling his hair stand on end. That offer was supposed to only be a last resort, the figure he would throw out solely if they threatened to cut off the Republic completely.

“And here I thought you only _just_ said that you could not go higher than 35,” Kamran jeered, much to Obi-Wan’s irritation.

“Well, that’s been my favorite offer so far,” Tyrrin said with humor, and that was equally as annoying, somehow. “But I think we will need some time to consider it before agreeing to anything. Let us meet again in the morning and put a vote to it?”

Obi-Wan resisted the urge to tear his hair out. Even his moment of foolishness would not grant any benefit to him. And he knew as he laid awake in bed that night, that if he’d just behaved more patiently and waited them out for another day, he could’ve convinced the Elders to accept the 35. He’d let his base desires cloud his judgment. Surely, Anakin would face similar disadvantages if Obi-Wan allowed their relationship as it was to continue. And now….

And now was the time for reflection. For looking at what he’d done, and for figuring out how to right his mistakes. He looked out at the night sky, which seemed far away from his window.

He never should have tempted Anakin or touched him. The boy was too young, and completely inexperienced in intimate matters. And, he was his Padawan. Obi-Wan was failing him as his master, and potentially tempting him towards the dark side. He could not deal any more damage to his student, his precious Anakin. 

If Obi-Wan let this continue, he would ruin Anakin’s future as a Jedi. He could not do that. 

And now Obi-Wan was seeing just one of many consequences of his hedonistic actions. He was letting his involvement with Anakin, his near obsession with the boy, affect his performance as a Jedi Knight. He’d sworn himself to the Order and the Republic many years ago, and held fast despite the friends and mentors and lovers he’d lost. Because he had to be strong, had to be wise. 

“You don’t always have to be the perfect Jedi, you know,” Anakin’s words echoed in his mind.

‘You’re wrong, Anakin, but not because of the harm or misery I incur on myself. I will bring you down with me, crashing and shattering and losing tiny but vital pieces of ourselves when we put each other back together, searching forever but never finding what could make each other whole again.’

This needed to come to an end. 

There were no more excuses for indulging his fantasies. He was supposed to be a better man. He’d failed himself and Anakin before, but now was the time to unhook his claws from Anakin’s welting back, and let go. He would never touch his student again. Their last time was the day he left and Anakin said, ‘Come back soon.’

And was it also the last time for confessions, for the complete openness and honesty they’d shown each other since becoming intimate? They wouldn’t just be giving up the physicality and the tactile pleasure, but also the ephemeral intimacy flowing forth during sleepy, late-night conversations. The soft smile of Anakin’s lips when Obi-Wan shared his life stories, the comfort that came with knowing that the person he wanted also wanted him as well. 

He’d never told Anakin he loved him, not outright, and though he felt that Anakin already knew, he’d missed his chance. The last time he’d bitten his tongue before uttering the words, when Anakin said, ‘We’re not finished yet,’ was the last time he could say them and hope for those same words to spill from his student’s lips.

Their last kiss, the last press of Anakin’s hand, underneath his own, against his chest, the taste of his skin on Obi-Wan’s tongue, his name breathed in ecstasy, ‘ _Obi-Wan!_ ’ The soft puffs of breath against Obi-Wan’s chest as they fell asleep wrapped in each other. Anakin’s first sleepy smile of the morning, his raspy mumbling of “G’morning.”

Their last times, and Obi-Wan had not even known.

@@@

The negotiations ended the next morning before the sun was fully risen. Elder Kamran had no more objections when every other Elder voted in favor of the compromise. He only grumbled in hate-filled defeat and signed his assent, staring daggers at Obi-Wan through the entirety of the proceedings. Obi-Wan was not offended, but how could he be? He was not even there.

@@@

Coruscant felt alien when he arrived home a few hours later. Anakin looked solemn when he greeted him after returning.

“It’s over, huh?” His student asked weakly, looking painfully unhappy. 

“How—”

“You’re actually not as skilled at shielding as you think you are, Master,” Anakin supplied, his usual lilting tone flat. He looked at the wall and his lower lip trembled.

“I’m sorry, Anakin. I won’t let myself ruin your future.”

“No one else would have to know!” Anakin shouted, his voice breaking. He snapped his head towards Obi-Wan, tears cascading down his cheeks as he balled the blanket between his fingers. “Don’t do this, Master.”

Obi-Wan struggled to swallow the knot of grief in his throat as he crossed the distance between them and climbed into Anakin’s bed over top of him. ‘Is this the last time?’ he wondered and the thought nearly had him sobbing.

“There is peace, there is serenity,” He stated as he took Anakin’s face in his hands and thumbed away some of the falling tears. Anakin whimpered but did not pull away as Obi-Wan repeated the words that had been a mantra in his head for the last 40 hours. “There is no emotion, there is no passion.’ We cannot live as Jedi and defy the Code so blatantly.”

“Other Jedi do it!” Anakin insisted, his voice shaking. “I’ve heard some of the other Padawans talking about it! The Council has too many other things to care about to give attention to relationships between masters and learners, Obi-Wan.”

“This isn’t about how the Council chooses to respond to such matters, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said kindly, stroking Anakin’s cheek softly. The boy’s tears were slowing now, at least. “This is about abiding by the Jedi Code that has taught us how to be strong, how to make good judgment, and how to bring peace to the galaxy. Attachment and love—” Anakin’s eyes flashed, “—create weaknesses in us. I will have failed you as a Master if I become a source of weakness for you.”

“Did Qui-Gon fail you? Because you would have died to save him,” Anakin challenged, scowling now because that sort of behavior was the easiest for him. Obi-Wan narrowed his eyes at his student, caught off guard by the unfair question. Anakin knew that Qui-Gon was a sore point for his master.

“Qui-Gon has nothing to do with this Anakin, listen to what I’m saying—”

“I get it, Obi-Wan,” Anakin said, losing some of his heat, lowering his eyes. “But you’re wrong about love and weakness.” He glanced up to Obi-Wan’s gaze. “The Jedi are wrong. Expecting us to ignore our basic needs. I know other species don’t struggle as much with it, but we’re only _human_ , Obi-Wan. We _need_ be close to each other, or else we’ll go mad.”

Obi-Wan stared at Anakin, shocked. Anakin had previously expressed criticism of the Order, of course, but to directly challenge a central tenant of the Code was not something Obi-Wan had heard from his student before. Of course, what worried Obi-Wan more was Anakin’s tone as he said _the Jedi_. Anakin had spoken similarly as a child, but now he’d been a Jedi for 10 years and would soon be knighted; if he still felt like an outsider at this age….

“Yes, we are human Anakin, and that means we must work harder to discipline ourselves,” Obi-Wan said gently, stroking Anakin’s hair now that his student’s tears had dried. “You are an excellent Jedi, Anakin, and I am proud of the young man you are shaping up to be.” Anakin closed his eyes and leaned into Obi-Wan’s touch, his eyelashes glistening again. “And I will always be your friend; nothing needs to change between us.”

They were both aware that everything had changed, now.

Anakin kept his eyes shut and composed himself, his thoughts a mystery as he closed himself off to Obi-Wan. His master expected this, and he gingerly let his hands fall away. When Anakin opened his eyes, Obi-Wan asked,

“How are you recovering?”

Anakin shrugged and lifted one arm. His hand tremored just slightly.

“I told Panna not to come tomorrow,” he said, and then, “Do you have anything else to say? Because I don’t.”

Obi-Wan shifted back, surprised at his student’s lack of arguments. He’d expected Anakin to try harder to convince him to change his mind before giving up. Perhaps he didn’t think it was worth the effort, and Obi-Wan would have agreed.

Anakin was youthful and attractive; he’d easily have any bedpartner he wanted. His master just hoped that he would be mindful of getting too close to someone, though Obi-Wan knew he could not make Anakin’s decisions for him. Obi-Wan could only control his own actions, and stop Anakin from hurting himself on his master.

“That’s all I had to say, Anakin,” he said.

“Okay,” Anakin replied, looking up at him with his dark wet eyelashes. “I’m sure you’re tired after your mission. I’ll see you in the morning, alright?”

Obi-Wan was being dismissed. He was somewhat shocked that Anakin was behaving so coolly, as if the end of their intimacy was a minor disappointment. Perhaps now that his freedom was so within reach, he decided that he didn’t need anything from Obi-Wan anymore. And that’s what his master should have wanted.

And yet he felt bruised as he moved off of Anakin and made to leave his room.

“Sleep well, Anakin,” he said and shut off the lights.

“Good night, Obi-Wan.”

@@@

Mercifully, sleep claimed him quickly. Perhaps his mind had finally exhausted itself with all of its endless, pointless worry. Would Anakin hate him now? Things would never be the same. Qui-Gon would be so disappointed in Obi-Wan, wouldn’t he? The Council would know, somehow they….

Obi-Wan slept. He felt another presence in the room when he opened his eyes again.

Anakin was standing before him, perfectly still. Blearily, Obi-Wan blinked up at him as his sluggish, waking mind processed—

“Anakin—” He was able to murmur before his student suddenly appeared there on top of him, silencing him with his mouth. Anakin kissed him fervently, and Obi-Wan reciprocated in kind for a moment before tearing his lips away. “Stop, Anakin—”

“I’m leaving the Order,” Anakin said above him, the rising sunlight dimly illuminating his determined expression. Obi-Wan gasped and unthinkingly slapped his hand over Anakin’s mouth, as if he could stop those treasonous words from ever escaping his lips.

“How can you say something so lightly? If you are joking, that isn’t funny, and if you’re being serious,” Obi-Wan fixed him with a critical look, “No, do not tell me you wish to become a _Sith_.” Anakin took Obi-Wan’s hand from his mouth.

“No Master, I will never join the Sith,” Anakin vowed, stroking his fingers through Obi-Wan’s beard, his hands completely free of tremor. “I can no longer abide by the Code, and I do not agree with the Council. I will leave Coruscant and follow my own principles without ever presenting a threat to the Order.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” Obi-Wan said, fear tight in his chest. He sat up and pushed Anakin back so as to see him clearly. “You have sworn yourself to the Order, Anakin. You cannot abandon it just because—”

“Because I’m miserable like this? That isn’t a good enough reason for you, Master?” Anakin countered. He huffed and ran his hand through his hair, and Obi-Wan’s eyes darted to his braid; thankfully, the boy had not shorn it yet. “I hate not being able to express my emotions, and having to try and just _meditate_ them away because that’s supposed to solve all my problems! Because emotions are problems, right?”

“Anakin—”

“Let me talk, please,” Anakin said seriously, and Obi-Wan sighed heavily but then nodded. “I know that you used to think that I’d been too old to join the Order when I met you and Qui-Gon. And I think you were right. I’m different, Obi-Wan. I will never be the Jedi the Council wants me to become.

“I know you assume this is just an impulse decision, but I’ve had a _lot_ of time to just think over the last few days. And I’ve been questioning my place here ever since the beginning. I’m leaving, and I’m sure of it. So, you no longer need to worry about ruining my future, Obi-Wan,” Anakin said with a slight smile, leaning forward.

“We won’t be together even if you leave, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said, turning his head away before Anakin could kiss his mouth. His student nuzzled into Obi-Wan’s neck instead, undeterred. Obi-Wan sighed again and ran a hand over Anakin’s back. “I won’t abandon the Order, not again.”

“I thought you would say that,” Anakin murmured against his skin before pulling back to look at his master. “Even so, there’s one thing I want to ask for before I leave. Think of it as a going away present.”

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan said thickly, an overwhelming flood of sadness surging from his chest to his eyes. “Do not leave the Order. You are an excellent Jedi, and the pain you feel right now will lessen over time. Please reconsider your actions carefully.” He knew that there was nothing else he could say that might sway Anakin’s mind; Obi-Wan could sense how certain his student felt about breaking free of the Order. Obi-Wan had guessed that such a fate might greet them one day, though he’d always wished for a different outcome.

“I might reconsider if you fuck me,” Anakin said with a laugh, surging forward and kissing Obi-Wan. Obi-Wan pushed Anakin away and rolled over onto top of him. Obi-Wan then pinned his arms to the bed, reversing their positions.

“You might not be concerned with the repercussions of your decision, but I’ll be the one facing the brunt of them when you leave,” he said as he stared down at his student, who did not struggle underneath him. 

Anakin was choosing an easier life, one where he would never need to worry about following a Code or bettering himself for the greater good. Where he would rule himself. Where he would be able to indulge in the galaxy’s numerous pleasures as often as he wanted, and nothing would be forbidden or out of reach. His boy might choose to try and subsequently get hooked on death sticks (he’d mentioned such a curiosity to his mentor before!), and where would Obi-Wan be?

He would be here, fulfilling his duty as a Jedi, his purpose in life. He’d sworn himself to the Order and vowed to never renounce this chosen fate. He would not let himself be swayed, no matter how much Anakin meant to him. 

If his student was truly leaving, then yes it would be difficult for Obi-Wan to say his farewell. Anakin had been at his side for so long now, and he’d been Obi-Wan’s strongest motivation to just keep _going_ after Qui-Gon’s death. The road he and Anakin walked during the beginning had been rough, yes, but now it stretched on so smoothly, all the ridges evened out as Anakin grew and flourished under his mentorship. Even still so young, he’d proven himself a skilled fighter on the field, a prudent politician when necessary, a needed friend on draining missions.

Obi-Wan would miss Anakin greatly. He was Obi-Wan’s dearest companion. 

He was the most luminous being Obi-Wan had ever met.

To Obi-Wan, Anakin was….

Anakin reached a hand up and brushed away the tears spilling from his eyes.

“Don’t cry, Master,” he pleaded softly, and a few of the drops fell onto his face before his master could compose himself. They streaked down Anakin’s cheeks as if he were equally a mess, and yet his eyes were dry. “Come with me,” he whispered.

“No, Anakin, I cannot,” Obi-Wan said firmly, and winced when his voice cracked. “Please do not ask me that.” 

‘Do not tempt me so cruelly. There is only one path I can walk.’

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin whispered, his voice so full of reverence, and Obi-Wan didn’t understand why. His tears had ceased, and yet his student just cradled his face in his hands and brushed his thumbs lightly along his cheekbones. “Obi-Wan,” Anakin breathed again, looking into his eyes with a naked adoration that winded his master, “I love you.”

Obi-Wan gasped, ambushed by Anakin’s declaration, and his intense feelings pouring forth through their bond. He all but collapsed on top of his student, burying his face into Anakin’s tunic, his chest racking with sobs that he couldn’t swallow down.

Anakin loved him back? This hurt more than wanting but never knowing. And now he knew that he could have what he wanted, but still he would be forced to turn away, to abstain from the love that was so forbidden by the Order.

Anakin gripped his shoulders and detached Obi-Wan from his chest, making him look at his face. Obi-Wan knew his own was flushed red and wet with new tears, and now as Anakin gazed up at him, he saw the misting in his student’s eyes, could feel the sorrow resonating in his very being.

“I had to say it, just once,” Anakin whispered, his lip trembling. “And this too: This last week, I’ve been basically chained to my bed and it should have been hell, but you gave me something amazing during that time. You let me get close to you. You trusted me completely. For the first time since I’ve met you, you let me feel your emotions as if they were my own.”

“Don’t say any more, please,” Obi-Wan begged, his voice thick with tears. He could not take this! Surely, he would burst from the suffering building up inside of him now. He had never felt this pain before. Losing Qui-Gon and his other dear friends was a different pain, one without the weight of choice, the tiny voice in his head saying, ‘you don’t have to lose him.’ 

“I will always regret it if I leave now without having you,” Anakin continued, heedless of his master’s pleas. “You will, too, we both know it. We have nothing left to lose, now. Let me experience this with you just once, and I’ll never ask anything of you again,” he promised. 

“You don’t have to go, Anakin. You have not committed to your departure just yet,” Obi-Wan said, foolishly, selfishly— he did not want Anakin to leave, and leave his master here to look up at the stars and wonder about his well-being (because Obi-Wan would have no choice other than all but severing their bond, unless he wanted to foster an obsession). And wonder about his future attachments to individuals that weren’t Obi-Wan, those who would return his love with their own, because they weren’t Obi-Wan. 

“I do have to go, Master. I’m sorry,” Anakin said with remorse and sincerity. He wove his fingers into Obi-Wan’s hair, and for an instant Obi-Wan could feel the shake of a tremor against his scalp, but his student inhibited the motion quickly.

“Stay here. We don’t have to give this up, alright? We just have to be careful, and we will figure something out, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said, thinking, ‘This is what you wanted all along, isn’t it?’

Anakin frowned, his eyes searching Obi-Wan’s.

“I don’t want to sneak around and worry about being caught, and you said it yourself anyway: we are Jedi, and can’t live like that. More importantly, Master, I don’t belong here.”

Obi-Wan swallowed thickly and moved off of his student, sitting to the side of the bed. “There’s nothing I can say to convince you otherwise?” Anakin sat up as well and moved to sit beside his mentor.

“If you want us to be together, you have to come with me.”

“…”

“I know it isn’t fair to ask that of you,” Anakin continued, and Obi-Wan could see that he was gripping the sheets tightly. “You and I are pretty similar in some ways, but we’re different in many others. I just hoped…” He sighed and turned his head toward Obi-Wan.

He touched Obi-Wan’s jaw and his master shifted to look at him.

“I wished our paths would never diverge. But maybe it’s best this way; you’re the greatest Jedi I’ve ever known, and I would only be dragging you down.”

Obi-Wan shook his head lightly, leaning closer to his student. Anakin was leaving, and he couldn’t stop him. How much time did he have left before the last time he would ever see Anakin? 

“Never,” Obi-Wan breathed, closing the distance between them and sealing his mouth to Anakin’s.

They were both going to have regrets when Anakin left, but Obi-Wan wasn’t going to create another one in this moment. 

Anakin pulled his master closer, laying down against the sheets and tugging Obi-Wan to him. They kissed slowly, unhurried and knowing they may never get another chance like this. Obi-Wan pulled back only to undress himself quickly, helping Anakin to do the same and once they were bare, Obi-Wan pressed his body into Anakin’s. His student arched up into him, groaning as Obi-Wan rejoined their lips and savored the feeling of Anakin’s skin.

“I never even hoped that you would want me the way I wanted you,” Obi-Wan breathed carelessly because he still couldn’t quite believe it, and he shifted and sat back on his knees just to see him. Anakin was absolutely stunning, and no doubt the star of the fantasies of many of the people whose paths he’s crossed. His student smiled softly, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“I thought the same. I never had any idea; I mean, often I wondered if you wished to be assigned a different Padawan, because of how frequently I failed you,” he said remorsefully, running his hands over Obi-Wan’s thighs and up to his hips, rolling his thumbs against the indents there.

“You have never failed me, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said, knowing that he’d been very critical of his student over the years, but that was due to _his_ fear of failing Anakin, of not being competent enough or not skilled enough to have his own student. He wouldn’t say that now, because he had more important concerns at the moment. Namely, giving Anakin a reason to stay.

Obi-Wan leaned forward and covered Anakin’s body with his own, reveling in his heat and greedily touching his skin, his ribs and the curve of his flank. Anakin moaned appreciatively and returned his caresses, sweeping his palms over Obi-Wan’s shoulders and back, pulling him down into a fervent kiss.

The sun was shining brightly now, and Obi-Wan knew he would be summoned to the Council soon once Panna delivered her report on Anakin’s progress. He would ignore the message for now, and later tell them that he’d been so exhausted from the long flight home that he slept for most of the day. Still, he was mindful of his and Anakin’s dwindling time, and he simply touched for just a moment longer before rocking his hips down against his student’s.

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin gasped, his head falling back as he pressed up against him, his cock hard against Obi-Wan’s abdomen. The living Force sparked between them, passion igniting in the both of them. Obi-Wan groaned as Anakin’s intense desire seared through their bond, grinding their hips together harder, wondering how his student’s emotions could feel so _amplified_ compared to Obi-Wan’s. 

Anakin looked at Obi-Wan as they moved against each other, moving his hands to cup Obi-Wan’s face and bring him closer.

“Tell me you’re gonna fuck me,” he said breathlessly, staring into his master’ eyes, and Obi-Wan could see all of him. And he could see a thread of fear in Anakin, fear of his master’s rejection. But Obi-Wan wasn’t that strong, especially now that Anakin was _touching_ him of his own volition and moving underneath him and, oh, this was so much better.

“You really have no idea—” Obi-Wan started to say, but he didn’t know how to express his longing in words, and maybe there weren’t any right words, anyway. He closed his eyes and let his shields fall completely for his student, because apparently Anakin liked when he opened up, and Obi-Wan had never bared himself so completely to— anyone else. He let Anakin see his wicked desires, all the ways he’s imagined taking his student, and he was ashamed to admit that they were almost endless.

Anakin’s pupils blew wide, his lips parting around a harsh exhale as he became cognizant of his master’s fevered yearning. His cock twitched against Obi-Wan’s hip, precum smearing over his master’s skin, and then he tightened his hands on Obi-Wan’s jaw, groaning,

“Fuck, Obi-Wan,” before pulling him into a bruising kiss. Anakin undulated beneath him and shifted to rub his cock against Obi-Wan’s, stealing the breath from his master. “Okay, mhhm,” Anakin breathed as he pushed him back a little, and shifted to pull his knees up. “I can’t wait anymore, I need you now, Obi-Wan,” he demanded, pushing at his master’s chest until Obi-Wan’s brain caught up and he leaned back on his knees. They both shifted around as Anakin spread his legs and Obi-Wan settled between them.

Anakin was unfairly beautiful, Obi-Wan observed as he drank in the sight before him, but he was similarly aching to move on and did not let his eyes linger. He settled one hand on the back of Anakin’s thigh, pushing to give himself more access, and Anakin flushed red from his chest to his face. Obi-Wan would’ve smiled in amusement at the seeming bashfulness if not for the insistent arousal permeating the both of them. He closed his other hand around Anakin’s cock, and Anakin gasped, his hips jerking. Obi-Wan stroked him slowly and with an agonizingly loose grip, just to tease him a bit, enjoying the frustrated whine pulled from his student’s throat.

Obi-Wan pulled his hand away then, merciful, and wet his fingers with his tongue. Then, he moved his fingers lower, rubbing them against Anakin’s hole, which was so hot underneath his touch, and also…. He pressed one finger lightly against the rim and felt his breath stutter when his digit sank in easily.

Anakin groaned, arching his hips.

“Fuck, I’m ready Obi-Wan, hah… oh yeah, just like that,” he rambled, moaning as Obi-Wan pressed in deeper and rubbed against his prostate. “Oh, I didn’t want to wait, oh please, I want you now!”

Obi-Wan visualized the sight of Anakin stretching himself and preparing himself for his master’s length before he’d even walked to his mentor’s room, knowing they might be indefinitely separated and certain that Obi-Wan would not deny him. Obi-Wan shivered from the electricity racing up his spine. He couldn’t hold back any longer, not with Anakin begging for it like this. Obi-Wan removed his digit and leaned up to rub his cock against Anakin’s, slicking himself with Anakin’s profuse precum as his student groaned and rocked up against him.

“Oh Force, _yes_ ,” Anakin breathed as Obi-Wan shifted and lined up. Obi-Wan forgot to breathe as he took his cock in his hand and placed the tip against Anakin’s hole, looking up before he pushed forward, needing to see his student’s eyes. Anakin stared at him with want and revere, and Obi-Wan expected to wake up now because this must be a dream. Slowly, he pressed inside.

“Ohh…” Obi-Wan groaned as Anakin’s hole enveloped his aching cock, unable to silence his pleasure. It had been so long since his last partner, and he’d forgotten the visceral high that came from taking someone like this. And not just someone, but the most important person in his life, his dear Anakin.

“Yes, _fuck_ , give it to me,” Anakin gritted out, his eyes shifting between Obi-Wan’s gaze and his cock sinking into him. His features were twisted in a mix of pleasure and pain, and Obi-Wan struggled to control himself, to not shove inside quickly and completely. He reminded himself that this was his student’s first time (and he pained at this fact even as satisfaction resonated through his spine), and he pressed slow and steady until gloriously, Anakin’s hole completely sheathed his cock.

“ _Anakin_ ,” Obi-Wan rasped, overwhelmed from not just the intense pleasure but also from his student’s heightened emotions. They were swirling all around him, stealing his air and clouding his mind, compounding his own forbidden feelings. 

“Nnn, oh, you feel so big inside me,” Anakin whined, his head falling back to the pillow, his hole squeezing tight around Obi-Wan’s length.

“Relax, sweetheart,” Obi-Wan said soothingly, and the term of endearment fell easily from his lips, nearly as dangerous as the sin they were committing now. He stroked Anakin’s thigh softly and then wrapped his hand around Anakin’s cock, stroking him back to full hardness. Anakin hummed and relaxed his muscles, loosening up for his master.

With care, Obi-Wan began rocking his hips lightly, watching Anakin closely for signs of discomfort. His body felt so good wrapped around him, and Obi-Wan wanted nothing more than to piston his hips and just _take_ , but he needed Anakin to want that, too. 

“Hah, mm, that’s good,” Anakin breathed, his eyes trained on Obi-Wan’s rolling hips, and his cock pulsed in his master’s hand. Obi-Wan let go to get both hands on Anakin’s hips and pull him closer, forcing groans from the both of them as he reached even deeper inside. “Yes! More, Obi-Wan!”

He needed no convincing. Obi-Wan gripped Anakin tightly and pulled out nearly completely, just to thrust back in hard, and _oh_. Anakin cried out, his eyes rolling back as he arched his spine, and Obi-Wan’s blood was set aflame. 

He pulled out and snapped his hips forward, burying his cock deeply again and again, giving himself to desire. Anakin felt so good, his tight hole a perfect sleeve for his cock. All of him was perfect. His trained body moving beneath him, his angelic face and erotic expressions, his breathy voice and enthusiastic moans; Obi-Wan’s fantasies could never have captured this level of hedonistic triumph. 

“Hahh, ohh fuck,” Anakin whimpered, his eyes squeezed shut as he rolled his head against the pillow, pressing his hips up every time Obi-Wan fucked into him. His student loved this, Obi-Wan could feel it through their bond and in the way his body moved. Precum dripped from his untouched cock onto his tensing stomach, and Obi-Wan’s fingers swept through the puddle without thought. Anakin opened his eyes to look as his master brought his wet fingers to his own mouth and suckled them between his lips. 

Anakin groaned lowly and raised his hands, threading them in Obi-Wan’s hair and pulling him down, and they both cried out at the change in the angle of Obi-Wan’s cock hitting his insides. Obi-Wan obligingly leaned down and licked into Anakin’s gasping mouth, the press of their lips slick and messy, all the while rocking his hips hard. 

“Just like that, oh fuck, that’s so fucking good, oh please Obi-Wan,” Anakin slurred, drunk on their pleasure, the words both heard and felt against Obi-Wan’s mouth. Obi-Wan moved his hands and pressed them beneath Anakin’s back, holding him closer to his chest as Obi-Wan settled more fully between Anakin’s spread thighs, grinding his cock into Anakin’s hole with short, deep thrusts, barely pulling out at all now as he reveled in his student’s heat.

Obi-Wan held Anakin even tighter, pulsing his cock against his prostate and drawing keening moans from his student’s throat. Obi-Wan was lost, drowning in the pleasure of Anakin’s body, and he could feel that his student was equally gone, mind blank for all else except Obi-Wan inside of him. His master pressed his lips to one ear and whispered, 

“Will you come just from this?” He rolled his hips hard and Anakin groaned.

“Yes!” He gasped, straining up against Obi-Wan like he couldn’t get close enough. Obi-Wan pulled out further now, just to snap his hips hard and fuck the air from Anakin’s lungs as he cried out. Obi-Wan fucked him roughly, so close to that edge himself, just barely holding off until—

Anakin stiffened and sobbed beneath him, pleasure bursting through their bond as his cock pulsed and shot across his trembling stomach. His hole tightened up around Obi-Wan’s throbbing prick and his master groaned as his own orgasm crashed over him, spilling his cum inside of Anakin’s body and getting off harder than he could ever remember.

“ _Anakin_ ,” he breathed, shaking with the intensity, grinding his cock into his student’s hole even after emptying everything, chasing the tendrils of that euphoria. Anakin groaned lowly and rocked up against him, equally as insatiable.

They locked themselves in that position for a few euphoric moments, moving languorously, their highs compounded by each other’s pleasure.

Slowly, Obi-Wan came back to himself and he carefully slipped out of Anakin’s hole, perversely enjoying the sight of his cum dripping out onto his sheets. ‘ _Mine_ ,’ he thought briefly, dangerously, and then collapsed to the side of Anakin. They breathed deeply for a few moments after that, Anakin staring up at the ceiling as Obi-Wan watched his chest rise and fall.

Obi-Wan pulled Anakin’s body into his own, spooning his back, needing the contact. Anakin hummed softly and settled against him, threading his fingers through Obi-Wan’s where his hand was pressed to his stomach. 

“If you stay, you can have this whenever you want, I promise,” Obi-Wan said then. ‘Please just don’t go, I don’t want to lose you, it’s too soon, Anakin.’

Anakin was silent for a long moment, thoughts unknown to Obi-Wan as he shielded himself. Obi-Wan said nothing else, allowing him to contemplate, but could not resist brushing his lips against Anakin’s neck and tasting his skin. He was even greedier now after getting what he wanted for so long, as if satiation was impossible. 

Finally, Anakin shifted in his arms and rolled to face Obi-Wan on the bed. 

“You no longer care about defying the Code?” he said, tone neutral but it wasn’t an outright refusal, which gave Obi-Wan hope.

“No Jedi follows the Code perfectly; we are all fallible,” Obi-Wan answered, and it was a feeble excuse, but he admitted it now that he’d been going against the Code for years as he allowed his attachment to Anakin grow and flourish. He thought of Qui-Gon, and how he often disagreed with the Council and the Jedi as whole, and yet he’d been an excellent Jedi until his death. 

Anakin reached his hand and stroked his fingers over Obi-Wan’s beard, following the motion with his eyes.

“If I stay,” he said, and Obi-Wan’s heart leapt, “I will tell the Council about my love for you. I won’t do any sneaking around concerning our relationship.”

“Anakin—” Obi-Wan began to protest.

“That is my condition, Obi-Wan,” Anakin continued, his eyes serious. “I will leave the Order if you say I cannot express my feelings to the Council, or if the Council forbids me from keeping my attachment to you.”

Obi-Wan frowned and curled his hand around Anakin’s cheek, stroking his face softly. Almost certainly, the Council would forbid their romantic relationship, and would also likely separate them in order to kill the attachment over time. Obi-Wan understood this and did not feel any resentment; attachment such as this was forbidden for good reason. It wasn’t that passionate love itself would lead to the dark side, but instead it was the incredible lengths one would go to in order to stay with their beloved or save them from harm. 

The Council would never allow them to have such a relationship. He needed to convince Anakin that being together in secrecy would be just as—

Obi-Wan closed his eyes. What was he thinking? Telling Anakin that they, as Jedi, could keep this attachment? No, he would be a terrible master to let this continue, to so casually disobey the Code and encourage his student to do the same.

He thought of Qui-Gon, and how he never once spared a considering glance towards Obi-Wan. Hot moisture welled beneath his eyelids.

He knew from the beginning that he and Anakin would have to give this up. And yet, he hadn’t considered losing Anakin completely. His student would leave the Order, regardless of whether or not Obi-Wan followed him. He told himself that this was the only reason such a foolish suggestion had ever escaped his lips; he wanted Anakin to stay, and knew of no other way to convince him. Obi-Wan hadn’t been thinking rationally.

“No,” he told Anakin now as he opened his eyes. He’d swallowed back his tears, finally wielding his discipline. “You cannot tell the Council, Anakin, and we cannot allow our relationship to continue in this way.” Obi-Wan shifted himself away from Anakin and moved to sit up.

“Wait, what?” Anakin said as he also sat up, “But you just said—”

“I had a moment of weakness,” Obi-Wan interrupted, standing from the bed to collect his clothing. He kept his thoughts hidden from Anakin as he coolly dressed himself, not allowing him to see the turmoil festering underneath. He could not even bring himself to look at his student’s face, afraid to see the hurt there.

“Fine,” Anakin snapped after a moment, quickly following suit and redressing himself hastily. “That makes my decision easier, anyway. Goodbye, Obi-Wan,” he said flippantly as he made to leave their quarters just like that and never look back.

“Anakin, stop,” Obi-Wan pleaded, moving to block his student’s way. Anakin huffed but stood still instead of pushing passed as he easily could have done. Obi-Wan leveled him with a mournful gaze. “Don’t leave like this.” He could not bear it if their possibly last moments together were tainted by anger and pain.

“You made your choice, and I’ve made mine,” Anakin gritted out, refusing to look at Obi-Wan’s eyes as his own misted with angry tears. “I guess I was an idiot, huh? To think that I meant enough to you that you might—” His voice broke and he looked to the ground, his shoulders shaking.

Obi-Wan could feel his anguish from the rejection. Obi-Wan could not keep so composed when Anakin was hurting so much. Tears fell from his eyes as well as he lifted his hands and lightly cupped Anakin’s jaw, tilting his head up. Anakin sighed shakily and looked at him, his face red and wet from his sorrow.

“You mean so much to me, Anakin. I love you,” Obi-Wan finally confessed, his voice wavering with emotion but strong in its sincerity. Anakin’s face twisted in even greater agony as he sobbed and tried to step away from his master, but Obi-Wan moved and pulled Anakin into his arms, embracing him. “I love you, Anakin, but my fate rests with the Order. Attachment is forbidden for Jedi. I’m so sorry.”

Anakin struggled briefly in his arms but soon gave in and clutched tightly at Obi-Wan’s tunic, burying his head in his master’s chest and sobbing freely. Obi-Wan held him tighter and called on every bit of his willpower to not fall apart, to stand solidly and give Anakin a pillar of support. They embraced each other for a long moment until Anakin’s sobs subsided, and then Obi-Wan let him pull away. 

“You plan on leaving immediately?” he asked gently as Anakin wiped at his face. His student nodded, and he continued, “You should tell the Council that you’re severing ties with the Order. You’re an adult, and they will not keep you here against your will.”

“I know, but I’m not going to make myself suffer through a litany of judgments and ‘gravely disappointed, I am. A fine Jedi Knight you would have been, young Skywalker,’” Anakin imitated in his Yoda voice, though most of the effect was lost due to the sniffling. Obi-Wan could not help but smile anyway, and the brief mirth felt surreal. He sobered up quickly, saying dryly,

“Ah, so _I_ get to be the one to deliver the news.” Anakin’s eyes widened in alarmed guilt, and he began to speak but Obi-Wan smiled again and continued, “I will not inform the Council that you have left until tomorrow, to give you time to leave without being hindered. Where do you plan on going?”

“Moltok,” Anakin answered, sniffling. He cleared his throat and said, “Do you remember those people we saved last year when we crash landed there by accident and found them surrounded by armed slavers? Erza and Si’monin? I’ve contacted them and they are happy to let me stay with them until I find work and can support myself financially.”

Obi-Wan was surprised that his student had already made such preparations. Anakin was truly serious about this, and Obi-Wan had known that, but the confirmation still stung. 

“When you get there, will you send me your coordinates?” he requested, and knew there was no need to say that he would keep the information to himself. Anakin’s face darkened unexpectedly at the question.

"Why? So you know exactly where to find me when you need a quick fuck in between missions?" Anakin said bitterly, his temper suddenly flaring, stepping back now. "When I leave, you should just consider me dead. I can't— I'll need to move on," he continued, his scowl falling from his face, his voice breaking.

"Okay," Obi-Wan agreed softly, because he knew it would be selfish of him to ask for anything different. And that hadn't been his intention at all, rather he just wanted to know in case—

In case what? He changed his mind and went running to Anakin to apologize and admit that his relationship with his Padawan meant more to him than his commitment to the Order? That wasn't going to happen. Obi-Wan reminded himself that following Anakin simply was not an option for him at this point. 

He thought back to what Anakin had said earlier, about being different from the rest of the Jedi because he'd grown up with a loving mother. Obi-Wan couldn't remember his own mother; letting go of these feelings would be much easier for him. It would hurt at first, an aching, piercing pain in his chest flaring constantly for a couple of months that would slowly decrease in intensity over time. Until it only occasionally throbbed at the thought of Anakin years later. Just like how it had been, and continued to be, with Qui-Gon.

Anakin looked surprised at his easy compliance but only nodded soberly, clearing his throat once again before saying, "R2 is going to help me take a cruiser without stirring up any suspicion."

"You're taking him with you?" Obi-Wan knew how fond his student was of the little droid. Anakin shook his head.

"No. I'm leaving most everything behind except my ‘saber. Starting anew,” he explained, even as his eyebrows drew together in sadness. "You'll watch out for him, right? And 3PO too?" His voice sounded so defeated as he implored Obi-Wan.

"Of course, Anakin," Obi-Wan answered easily, barely refraining from drawing him into his arms once more. Extending this farewell would only make it more painful.

"Thanks," Anakin said and his lip trembled, eyes welling up again. He glanced at Obi-Wan's face and then back to the floor. "I guess then, this is goodbye, Obi-Wan."

"Anakin, if you ever need anything, please don't hesitate—"

"No, you'll never hear from me again, I promise you that," Anakin interrupted, smiling sadly at his master as fresh tears rolled down his face. "It'll be easier that way. A clean break."

Obi-Wan pulled him into his arms, unable to quell his need for comfort as his entire world was flipped on its axis. Anakin embraced him tightly, and they held each other for a short eternity, coming to terms with all that they were giving up.

Anakin's eyes were clear when they pulled apart.

"Goodbye, my dear Anakin. Please be safe," Obi-Wan said as steadily as he could manage, forcing a kind smile. Anakin only nodded, his own smile never reaching his eyes, and he turned away from Obi-Wan and walked out of his room, and then out of their quarters.

Obi-Wan watched him leave, his heart pounding in his ears until he heard their door close with deafening finality. He exhaled a shuddering breath, and then felt numb.

@@@

He sent a message to the Council saying that he was feeling unusually exhausted after his mission, and would meet with them in the morning. His lie was not questioned.

Obi-Wan changed out his sheets immediately, knowing he would spend the rest of the day burying his head into the pillow Anakin had rested his head on during their lovemaking. When he went to Anakin’s room to do the same to his student’s bed, however, he could not seem to stop his body from sinking into the sheets and inhaling deeply. For a brief moment, he wept, but then that strange emotionless haze settled again over his mind.

He stood and dried his eyes.

@@@

Obi-Wan felt distinctly like a spectator watching his own body walk to the Council chambers the next day. His bond with Anakin was nearly completely muted now, and he was only able to feel that the other was alive but nothing else. Obi-Wan hadn't received any reports of a stolen cruiser and guessed that his student had been successful in leaving Coruscant without garnering unwanted attention.

"Temple Healer Panna has informed us of Skywalker's recovery. To the best of your judgment, Obi-Wan, is your Padawan now able to accompany you on your next mission?" Windu inquired at the beginning of the meeting. He sounded far away, somehow, even as Obi-Wan stood before him.

"No Master Windu, Anakin is not able to accompany me on any future missions," Obi-Wan began, watching the confusion spread across the faces of the Council. "Anakin has left Coruscant indefinitely, and will no longer accept orders given by the High Council nor will he continue his Jedi training under my supervision."

Shock replaced confusion. Then, Windu glared at him.

"You mean to tell us, Kenobi, that your student has joined the dark side of the Force? How did you let this happen?"

"He did not join the dark side, Master Windu. He felt that he could not abide by the Code, and he left to settle on a far away planet. He will never pose a threat to the Order or the High Council," Obi-Wan answered evenly, strangely feeling no anxiety as the Council members eyed him with disbelief. "I failed him, I know. I will accept any punishment the Council feels I deserve."

"More information we need, Obi-Wan," Yoda interjected then. The knowing look on his wrinkled face should have unsettled Obi-Wan, but still he felt nothing. There was a wall between his emotions and his awareness. "Precisely why Anakin left, tell us."

"He no longer wanted to suppress his emotions and refrain from forming attachments. Because Anakin could not obey the Code, he did not wish to continue to abide by the High Council's orders," Obi-Wan responded, not as himself but an imposter who was a perfect Jedi. No emotion, no passion.

"You are speaking too cryptically, Kenobi," Windu spoke, nearly seething as he leaned forward in his chair. "Did the toxin poison his mind as well? What did he say to you when he left? When did he depart? Why did you not stop him? Answer these questions directly, or my patience will run out."

"It had nothing to do with the toxin, Master Windu. He told me… that he loves me, and that he's miserable here on Coruscant—"

"Loves you?" Windu interrupted, perplexed.

"Speaking of passionate love, you are?” Yoda asked in his infinite wisdom, and Obi-Wan nodded.

"Yes, Master Yoda. He departed yesterday."

"And why you did not alert the Council immediately!?" Windu bellowed amongst the murmuring voices of the other members. 

"Because I feared that he would be stopped under your orders," Obi-Wan replied, beginning to feel the weight of his words. The haze over his mind was starting to clear. 

"And what of your loyalty to the Council!? Does that mean nothing in the face of Skywalker's wayward decisions?" Windu nearly shouted, veins bulging in his forehead.

"I value my loyalty to the Council very highly!" Obi-Wan shot back, anger sparking within him, and he could not smother it. "I loved Anakin but I gave him up _because_ of my loyalty to the Council!"

The declaration was cathartic, a stifling weight lifted from his chest and with it, his facade of stoicism. He felt angry, but not towards the Council for forbidding attachment. No, he was angry at himself for believing he could ignore his feelings for Anakin until they faded into nothing. Now he realized, that as long as Anakin was alive and out there somewhere, his love for the boy would persist. This wasn't like losing Qui-Gon, in which he had no choice but to move on. The thought of what could have been and _what could be_ would torment him indefinitely.

Windu seemed to be rendered speechless. Most of the other members were murmuring to each other in accusatory voices.

"Love him still, do you not, Obi-Wan?" Yoda spoke, strangely sounding amicable. 

"Yes, Master Yoda," Obi-Wan answered without hesitance. He felt utterly exhausted from all of the emotional mayhem he’d suppressed. He could not lie.

Yoda looked around the room, saying, “Adjourn this meeting, let us. To speak to Kenobi in private, I request.”

The murmuring ceased. Windu looked like he wanted to argue, but the members had unanimously chosen Yoda as grand master for good reason. Obi-Wan watched as everyone aside from himself and Yoda filed out of the chambers, whispering to each other. Then, he looked at Yoda.

“Master Yoda, I truly am sorry for all of the inconvenience I have caused the Order,” he said honestly, but could not bring himself to directly apologize for his love for Anakin.

“A shame it is, that Anakin will not be continuing his training. A gifted Jedi, Anakin was,” Yoda replied. “But I do not feel that he will become our enemy,” he added kindly. Then more seriously he said,

“Your attachment to young Skywalker has interfered with your Jedi duties. Leave Coruscant as well perhaps, if you feel that such interference will continue."

Obi-Wan was dumbfounded. Leave Coruscant? Was Yoda offering him a life shared with Anakin? No, he must be punishing him by stripping him of his Jedi status.

“Master Yoda, forgive me for not understanding, but are you exiling me from the Order?” He said uncertainly, completely caught off-guard by the severe sentence. Yes, he deserved to be punished, but such a response seemed unwarranted for a relatively innocuous crime.

"No, Obi-Wan. To stay or to leave, the choice is yours,” Yoda said. “Respect your decision, I and the Council will. If you choose to leave, we will decide on any rules you must follow if you wish for us to allow you to retain your connection to the Force.”

Obi-Wan stood silent for a long moment. Once again, he was faced with this choice, and yet now a future with Anakin seemed so much more attainable. The High Council would allow Obi-Wan to live his own life _and_ keep his connection to the Force. He inferred that Yoda would extend the same privilege to Anakin. 

“Master Yoda, why are you offering this to me?” He asked. Yoda smiled, a wistful look in his eyes.

“Served the Order well, you and Anakin have. Your shared fear of losing each other may be your downfall, and yet the Force tells me that you two should not be separated. Feel the weight of your absence, the Order certainly will. But you may go if you wish, Obi-Wan.”

Obi-Wan could hardly believe what he was hearing. He knew what the correct choice was, the one that he committed himself to so long ago now, and yet he said,

“I wish to leave so that I may be with Anakin, Master Yoda.” The instant regret he should have felt at uttering such words never appeared. Instead, he felt weightless.

“Sensed that you would say that, I did. Now, Obi-Wan, leave the chambers and allow the Council to convene. Return in one hour.” 

Obi-Wan left the council chambers and went to the Room of a Thousand Fountains to meditate. He thought on Yoda's words, about the Force willing he and Anakin to be together. How could that be, if attachment was a weakness? Perhaps, he decided, that greater harm would result from their separation. 

Obi-Wan knew now, due to the feelings Anakin had awakened in him, he would not be able to follow the Code as he used to. He felt that he would never be the same. 

He wondered what Anakin was doing at this moment. Was he thinking of Obi-Wan?

Many of the Council members looked uncomfortable when he returned. Windu looked outright displeased, and yet he was the one to deliver the news.

"Obi-Wan Kenobi, you are hereby relieved of your Jedi post here on Coruscant. You may keep your connection to the Force, so long as you never harm an innocent or a Jedi with your powers. We revoke your title of Knight, and you will no longer be considered a ranking member of the Jedi Order. If the High Council ever calls upon your assistance, you must answer our call or you will be treated as a traitor."

Obi-Wan felt lightheaded, but not the slightest bit remorseful for his choice. Windu continued,

"You may reside on any of the Outer Rim planets or any territories beyond that, but not anywhere closer to the Core Worlds. These same rules apply to Anakin Skywalker, as well, and it is your duty to relay these details to him. We are showing you mercy, Kenobi, due to your excellent performance as a Jedi until this point. Do not make us regret this decision."

"Thank you, High Council," Obi-Wan said and looked at Yoda in particular. "I am forever grateful for your benevolence."

"I am highly disappointed in you, Kenobi," Windu said. "I expected such disobedience from Skywalker, but not from you. Leave now. You may take a cruiser with you, and you must send us your coordinates once you arrive at your destination so that we may send someone to retrieve it."

"Yes, I will depart immediately. Thank you, High Council," Obi-Wan repeated, feeling wondrously at ease. He knew he should feel deeply ashamed for his weaknesses and failures, and yet he selfishly only felt joy at the thought of seeing his precious Anakin once again, and so soon.

@@@

Obi-Wan reflected on his decision as he headed towards Moltok.

Had his choice been foolish? Certainly. Would Qui-Gon be disappointed? Most likely, though perhaps he would feel differently; during their time together, Qui-Gon had often surprised his Padawan with his unorthodox attitudes and beliefs. Either way, Obi-Wan did not feel as if he’d made a terrible mistake. The regret would come later, maybe, but at the moment he could only smile to himself as he envisioned his possible futures with Anakin.

Together, they would continue to do good things for this universe. Their stories weren’t over, yet.

A small amount of anxiety settled within him as he neared the planet where Anakin was now residing. He feared that Anakin would not accept him now, after all the heartbreak Obi-Wan had inflicted on them both. But he felt hopeful too, as he remembered his student’s admission of love. Such feelings would not fade over the course of a day.

Despite not knowing his student’s specific coordinates, Obi-Wan luckily remembered where Erza and Si’monin’s settlement was located on the relatively small planet. He landed near it in an open field, keeping his presence muted in the Force. He did not want Anakin to know he was here before they met again face-to-face.

“This is our new home, for the time being,” he said as he turned to look back at R2D2 and C-3PO. Despite what Anakin had said about starting anew, Obi-Wan knew he could not leave his student’s favorite droids behind on Coruscant. They had been “happy” (or the droid equivalent to such emotion) to accompany him here, too, unsurprisingly. R2 beeped excitedly and 3PO said,

“R2 informs me that there is a large trading center close to this town. We will head there for the time being and meet up with you and Master Anakin at a later point. I’m sure that you two will have much to discuss in private.” His tone was far too suggestive for Obi-Wan’s liking, and he wondered how the droid could be so perceptive when the former Knight had said nothing of his and Anakin’s romantic standing. He certainly would not mind the privacy, however.

Obi-Wan walked over to the house in which he knew his student would be staying. Anakin was shielding himself well. Even as Obi-Wan stood before the door to his temporary home, he felt only a bit closer to him in the Force. And Obi-Wan was hiding himself as well, but Anakin was so perceptive, he would know—

The door swung open before he could knock. Anakin stood before him with disbelieving eyes. He wasn’t wearing his usual Jedi apparel; he wore a simple gray tunic and loose pants underneath. 

“If you came here to take me back, you’ve wasted your time,” his student (former, Obi-Wan reminded himself) said but his voice lacked conviction. As if he never even considered his mentor going to such lengths for him and wasn’t sure how he should respond. 

“No, Anakin, that isn’t why I’m here,” Obi-Wan explained gently, smiling despite the tense unease radiating from his student. He was so relieved to be standing here right now, with the person he cherished more than anyone else. “I told the Council of our feelings for each other—”

“ _No_ ,” Anakin gasped in shock. His eyes widened almost comically. “ _Why_ did you do that, Obi-Wan? They would have never found out—”

“Because that is the truth I needed to tell,” Obi-Wan insisted. “Now, stop interrupting and listen to what I’m about to say. The Council gave me a choice: to leave Coruscant and have a life with you, or to stay there and continue my career as a Knight.”

Anakin’s jaw slackened as Obi-Wan spoke, his eyebrows drawing together in emotion as Obi-Wan’s thoughts bled through their bond.

“I chose you, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said with similar, overwhelming emotion swelling in his chest. He smiled. “If you will have me even after all the pain I’ve caused you, then I promise I will not leave your side.”

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin breathed, drawing closer to him and gripping him by his arms. His expression grew darker, into anger. “Being a Jedi is your calling in life! I knew it was selfish of me to ever ask you to leave the Order, but I thought you’d never agree. You’re _meant_ to be a Jedi,” he continued more softly, looking more anguished than enraged.

“Apparently not, my once-student,” Obi-Wan said easily, touched that Anakin cared so deeply about his path in life but needing him to understand. “Master Yoda senses that the Force wills our attachment to flourish. And, I’m sure of my decision, Anakin.” He raised his hands and cradled Anakin’s face, running his fingers through the shorn patch of hair beside his student’s ear, where his plait hung only yesterday.

Anakin stared at him in wonder, still looking slightly upset. Obi-Wan could hear his thoughts; ‘I don’t deserve this.’

Obi-Wan pulled Anakin into his arms and hugged him tightly. 

“You make me feel happier than I could’ve ever envisioned; you’ve made me feel things I would have never felt in life if not for knowing you,” he said in heartfelt devotion. “I love you, Anakin. But if you wish for me to leave you, then I give you my word that I’ll never contact you again.”

“What are you saying?” Anakin huffed as he moved back to look into his eyes. “You can’t honestly believe that I’d ever turn you away, Master,” he said as a cautious smile finally spread across his face. Obi-Wan could feel his glee as he finally accepted his master’s words as truth.

“There’s no need for that title, now, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said, but his student only rolled his eyes and nodded noncommittally. Obi-Wan glanced behind Anakin’s back, looking into the small house. “I take it that Erza and Si’monin are…?”

“Oh, they’re gone right now. They each manage their own shops in the bazaar near here. I don’t think they’ll be back until late this evening,” Anakin replied, stepping aside and gesturing for Obi-Wan to come into the house. Obi-Wan did so and his student eyed him nervously, excited energy rolling off of him now. “Obi-Wan—”

“I brought R2 and C-3PO,” Obi-Wan said at the same time, accidentally cutting his student off and smiling sheepishly afterwards. Anakin beamed at these news.

“They’re here!?”

“Yes, I think they’ll be surveying their new planet for a while,” Obi-Wan provided, smiling wider because Anakin’s joy was infectious. “Oh, and Panna wanted me to tell you that she’s happy that she got to meet you, and that she wishes us all the best.”

Obi-Wan had searched for her before departing, needing to say his goodbye in person. He had other goodbyes to give, but over the less personable HoloNet. He owed Panna a proper farewell, at least. Predictably, she had been very upset at first, telling Obi-Wan that both he and Anakin were making terrible mistakes. But when she realized she could not convince him of this, she warmed and then hugged him tightly, wishing him a happy future with Anakin.

“I’ll miss her,” Anakin said quietly, but could not stop grinning. “Obi-Wan, I… I can’t believe you’re here to stay.”

“Well, hopefully not _here_ , exactly,” Obi-Wan joked in mock derision, though partially serious as he was not fond of the air on the planet. “Once we’re making income, please tell me we’ll choose to settle somewhere a little more… breathable?”

“Anywhere, as long as you’ll follow me,” Anakin said in soft jubilation. “I love you, Obi-Wan.” He said it assuredly, almost as a proclamation. They wouldn’t ever need to hide their attachment now. It was surreal. And—

“I love you, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said with just as much confidence. He looked at Anakin and knew that he did not want to be anywhere else in this galaxy except right here, in this moment with the most significant other he’d ever had the fortune of meeting.

Anakin smiled brighter, his eyes shining with tears. He threw himself at Obi-Wan and wrapped his arms around him, nearly making them crash to the floor with his unsteady footing.

“Anakin!” Obi-Wan said in scolding, barely keeping them upright. His student only laughed and nuzzled his face into the crook of his neck, inhaling deeply. A thrill raced down his mentor’s spine, and Obi-Wan shivered, so sensitive to Anakin’s presence. He pulled him closer and said his name again, his voice huskier.

They had plenty of time to discuss the details of their new life together. Obi-Wan would communicate the Council’s rules to him and Anakin would scoff and say ‘whatever’ but eventually agree to the terms, and then they would figure out their new career paths, and which planet they’d ideally like to settle on. All of that would certainly be exciting, but at the moment, Obi-Wan had something more _pressing_ on his mind.

He leaned back in his student’s embrace, raising his hands to tilt Anakin’s chin upwards. Obi-Wan did not hesitate this time, kissing Anakin’s lips and giving in to his salacious impulses. Anakin moaned softly, sounding surprised, but just as eagerly slanted his mouth against Obi-Wan’s and parted his lips. Obi-Wan slid his tongue over Anakin’s, kissing him deeply, and he let down his shields, allowing Anakin to feel just how he affected his master.

Anakin moaned again, so sweet, and Obi-Wan needed to hear more of those sounds, needed to be the cause of such pleasure. He walked them further inside of the house, kicking the door shut with his boot, and blocking out any worldly concerns.

“Anakin,” he breathed out, drawing back to look into his student’s eyes. Anakin tried to follow his lips and Obi-Wan smiled before he placed two fingers at his mouth to playfully halt his advance. Anakin opened his eyes then, and they were shining with mischief, his pouting lips parting and drawing those fingers into his mouth. Obi-Wan hummed in interest and pressed his fingers deeper, rubbing them against Anakin’s slick tongue, and Anakin licked between his fingers, heat flaring in his eyes now.

Obi-Wan smirked, heating up just as quickly. His student had no idea of what he was in store for.

“That feels good, sweetheart,” he murmured, “But I think you’d like something more substantial filling up your mouth,” he all but purred, lust pooling in his groin as Anakin’s tongue stilled. His student looked at him in shock, his pupils blowing wide. Obi-Wan slipped his fingers from Anakin’s mouth and moved them to grip the back of his head lightly, applying slight pressure. He tuned himself into his student’s feelings to learn if this was okay, but he already knew.

Anakin fell down to his knees without further prompting, his mouth hanging open slightly, his eyes trained on Obi-Wan’s face, still disbelieving. 

“I’m going to give you what you want now, my Anakin,” his mentor promised, throwing off his robes and tunic. He stared into his student’s eyes. “That first night I got you off so sweetly, do you remember what you asked me for?”

“Do whatever you want to me,” Anakin breathed, dazed and excited. His cock was tenting his pants obscenely, and his shields collapsed for his master, his longing flowing through their bond, intoxicating.

“So many things I want to do to you, Anakin,” Obi-Wan said, loosening the strings of his leggings. His length pulsed in his underwear, so eager for his student’s touch. Anakin groaned at the hunger in his voice, and Obi-Wan could not resist reaching his hand down and pushing Anakin forward until his cheek was pressed to his master’s clothed erection. “Right now, I’m going to put my cock in your mouth and let you suck on me.”

Anakin whined, rubbing his face against Obi-Wan’s groin, turning his head so he could mouth at his dick through the fabric. Obi-Wan’s hips jerked at the stimulation and he quickly tugged Anakin back.

“Now wait, my impatient student,” Obi-Wan said with a dark smile, his length throbbing from the prospect of his next demand. “As much as I would love to feed you my cock, you haven’t deserved that, yet.”

Anakin moaned and stared up at Obi-Wan through his eyelashes, wanting and frustrated. “Obi-Wan—”

“Hush, Anakin,” Obi-Wan commanded, silencing his student. Anakin bit his lip, a wave of lust rolling through their bond. “Now, strip off your clothes and touch yourself for me.”

Anakin paused for only a moment before he stood and began to eagerly shed his clothes all the while keeping his eyes locked on Obi-Wan’s. Through their bond, his master could feel how turned on Anakin felt by Obi-Wan’s demanding behavior. Still, before Anakin removed his pants, Obi-Wan touched his arm and asked,

“Anakin, is this alright?”

“Yes, Obi-Wan,” Anakin affirmed, smiling a little at his master’s concern and tugging off his pants and underwear in one go. Obi-Wan willfully kept his eyes trained on Anakin’s face for the moment.

“You will tell me if you want to stop at any point, yes?”

“ _Yes_ , Obi-Wan,” Anakin chuckled, and Obi-Wan, feeling comfortable with moving forward now, let himself look at his beautiful partner. 

Anakin’s cock strained up against his stomach, the tip already glistening as Obi-Wan trailed his eyes down, leering openly, his own mouth watering and yet he reminded himself of his role. Anakin lifted his hand and wrapped it around his length, his grip loose as he began to stroke himself with a soft sound of need.

“I rather liked you on your knees,” Obi-Wan commented, and Anakin exhaled shakily, nodding his head and he lowered himself back down onto his knees, straining his neck to stare up at his master. Obi-Wan hummed, incredibly pleased with his student’s easy obedience, his own cock drooling and staining his underwear. “Good, my lovely Anakin. Now, put on a nice show for me and I’ll give you my cock.”

Anakin groaned, his eyes shutting tight as his cock spilled more precum, his hips thrusting forward into his hand.

“Fucking _Sith_ , Obi-Wan,” Anakin gasped, pumping himself harder, hanging his head. Obi-Wan reveled in his desire, remembering those fantasies that flashed in his mind when Obi-Wan had asked him to let down his shields only a few days ago (had it only been days? His life had changed immeasurably in an instant). How deeply his student longed for this loss of control, why those secretive smiles spread across his face in the presence of his mentor while he was bedridden. Knowing that he was at the mercy of his master and yearning to be used.

Obi-Wan would have never felt comfortable doing such a thing with Anakin literally immobilized, but now he would indulge his student’s wishes until the both of them were fucked out and exhausted. 

“Slower, Anakin,” he murmured after a moment of watching his student pleasure himself. Anakin huffed but obeyed and slowed his hand, his hips hitching up minutely on every down stroke. The smell of his arousal was heavy in the air, and Obi-Wan was heady from it, his own prick straining hard against his clothing. “Stop. Take your hand off of yourself.”

Anakin whined but took his slick hand away, his dick red and wet with precum. It twitched against his stomach when Obi-Wan simply stared for a moment. And Obi-Wan wanted to make him wait a little more, but could not bear to draw this out any longer. Hastily, he shoved his leggings down to his knees and guided his cock to Anakin’s lips, smearing his precum against the boy’s tongue when it peaked out to taste him.

“Mmmngh,” Anakin moaned lowly as he opened his mouth wide and accepted Obi-Wan’s generous cock. Obi-Wan rolled his hips, thrusting shallowly and watching as his cock disappeared passed his student’s full lips. Anakin set his hands on Obi-Wan’s hips, pulling him closer, pulling his cock in deeper, and Obi-Wan groaned breathlessly.

“You want me to fuck your throat, Anakin? Choke you with my cock?” He said, his balls drawing up tight as his cockhead touched the back of Anakin’s throat. His student moaned eagerly in response, the vibrations traveling up Obi-Wan’s prick and making him swear. Obi-Wan set his hand atop Anakin’s head and guided him closer as he pushed in deep, stuffing his student’s throat full of his aching cock. He threw his head back in pleasure, his legs shaking with the intensity, oh it was _so fucking good_.

Anakin held his hips tightly, taking all of his cock in his throat, gulping around his master’s thick length. Obi-Wan groaned and backed off, goosebumps raising on his skin at the sound of Anakin’s sharp intake of breath as his mentor pulled out. Obi-Wan looked down at him, meeting Anakin’s eyes, seeing the heat and trust there just as he could feel it through their bond. Wordlessly, Obi-Wan pressed his cock again into Anakin’s throat, then pulled out, and thrust in again slowly, fucking the tight passageway of his student’s throat as Anakin drooled around him.

“So good for me, Anakin, taking everything I give you,” he grunted in his pleasure-roughened voice, and Anakin moaned and pressed his mouth impossibly closer until his bottom lip was brushing against Obi-Wan’s balls, engulfing his master’s cock completely. Obi-Wan hissed and clutched at Anakin’s hair, grinding against his face, saying, “ _fuck_ yes, fucking take it.” 

He wasn’t going to last like this. He thrust into Anakin’s mouth and throat steadily, losing himself in the slick heat and the knowledge of what Anakin was giving to him, eagerly offering his body for Obi-Wan to use as he pleased. 

“I’m going to come,” he murmured, his hips stuttering now. Anakin moaned eagerly around him, his tongue fluttering against the underside of his master’s dick, and Obi-Wan cried out, thrusting his hips back until just the head of his cock was pulsing against Anakin’s tongue and then he was spilling his load. “Fucking _gods_ Anakin, ohh, mmm, don’t swallow it yet, sweetheart,” he commanded as he shook and jerked, his whole body lighting up, and Anakin stared up at him with reverence, keeping his lips sealed tight over his master’s prick, his tongue dancing against the slit and drawing out Obi-Wan’s pleasure. 

Obi-Wan held Anakin in place for a few more moments, breathing hard in the aftermath of his incredible orgasm. Finally, he pulled back so that his cock slipped free of Anakin’s lips, and then he took his hand and gripped Anakin’s chin, tilting his head up.

“Let me see,” he demanded, and Anakin blinked up at him through wet eyelashes, letting his jaw drop open. His master’s cum pooled at the back of his mouth, and Obi-Wan felt his spent cock twitch at the erotic image of his unruly student so happily debauched. “Now swallow.” Anakin closed his lips and gulped noisily, all the while keeping his eyes locked on Obi-Wan’s, grateful and needy. Obi-Wan shuddered. “Very good, Anakin.”

Anakin stood up from his knees suddenly, grabbing his mentor around the waist and pressing their bodies flush together.

“ _Master_ ,” he breathed against Obi-Wan’s ear as he grinded his slick cock against his mentor’s abdomen. He rutted against Obi-Wan’s body for only a few moments before he was whining brokenly and shooting his cum across both of their stomachs. Obi-Wan kissed his neck and caressed his back and the curve of his waist, moaning too as Anakin’s pleasure traveled through their bond, small dribbles of cum leaking from his softening cock at the vicarious stimulation. Obi-Wan knew the sound of his former title should have repulsed him and yet the taboo of it only thrilled him. 

They held each other for a long moment, coming down and basking in each other’s warmth. Obi-Wan nuzzled his face against Anakin’s hair and smiled, barely believing that he got to have this with the person he loved most dearly in this universe.

“Obi-Wan,” Anakin rasped when they finally parted, his voice hoarse, presumably from his master’s throat-fucking. He beamed at his master. “That was fucking _hot_.”

Obi-Wan chuckled and leaned forward to kiss Anakin chastely before pulling up his leggings. Anakin watched and then placed his hand on Obi-Wan’s arm as he reached for his tunic on the floor.

“What are you getting dressed for? Let’s go to my bedroom,” he whispered heatedly, tugging Obi-Wan along as he began walking backwards. Obi-Wan watched his student’s already-lengthening cock bounce against his thighs as he moved and he chuckled again, this time in surprised wonder.

“We have all the time in the universe now to explore each other’s bodies,” he said even as he obligingly followed his student. Anakin hummed and opened the door to his room, ushering Obi-Wan inside. His master surveyed the small room and found that it was unsurprisingly bare at the moment, but had little time to notice anything else as Anakin pushed him to sit on the bed.

“I know, you just really turn me on and we have a couple more hours alone together,” he breathed as he settled himself on Obi-Wan’s lap and kissed him.

Obi-Wan parted his lips, unable to resist his beloved’s advances, but controlled the pace of their kiss and kept it soft and unhurried. He smoothed his hands down Anakin’s back, tracing his fingertips over his student’s spine.

Only mere days ago, he had never even hoped for the chance to touch Anakin in this way. And now he had given up his Jedi career, his former purpose in life, to be with Anakin like this. And not just to touch him, but to hold him, to comfort him, to love him. Obi-Wan felt freer than he ever had before, like the possibilities before him were limitless. Together with Anakin, he would find his new purpose in life, one that undoubtedly involved his lover.

One day, perhaps he would regret the choice he made. He felt the Force moving through them and around their bodies, as if coaxing them together into one entity, and he thought that maybe he never truly had a choice to begin with. The Force had brought them together, two paths that seemed so unlikely to cross, and now they were inseparable. 

Obi-Wan smiled against Anakin’s lips; they had each other, and somehow he knew that everything else would fall into place.

“As endearing as your inner monologue is,” Anakin huffed when he leaned back, “I’d appreciate it if you’d let me seduce you, now.” Obi-Wan chuckled and pulled him forward, pressing their mouths together and kissing his student deeply, allowing Anakin to take the lead.

Anakin moaned in delight, pushing against Obi-Wan’s shoulders and wordlessly encouraging him to move up the bed and lie down. Obi-Wan did so, and looked up as Anakin hovered above him, a sudden dangerous glint in his student’s eye that had not been there before. Abruptly, the mood seemed to shift between them, and Obi-Wan gasped as Anakin locked his hands around his mentor’s wrists and pushed his arms against the sheets on either side of his head, pinning him.

“Anakin—” Obi-Wan breathed, a thrill shooting down to his swelling cock. Anakin smirked down at him and pressed his wrists harder against the bed.

“Hush,” Anakin said, his tone taking on a commanding edge. He sharpened his smirk. “Don’t move.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading. Any feedback is loved and appreciated <3


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